So I'm not your average guy

I noticed today when someone read a thing that the average person does this fill in the blank so much or so often optional specified period of time my answer is I don’t do that that much or I do that way more than that or I’ve never done that.

I suppose it is a good thing to be not so average but reading some of them seems to be that I may be a bit further out in the rye than I thought.

Today’s thing was really only because I choose not to do that thing that it was and not because I couldn’t do that thing. I’m not saying what that thing is because it isn’t related to the point. I could just as easily been any number of things and it wouldn’t have applied to me.

Then later there was a further comment that I am not acceptable by conventional standards. I mention this not to garner any empathy or sympathy or attention just that coincidentally the day I notice one thing not fitting there is an unsolicited response to confirm said thing from a party unaware of the former information.

I see a me in my mind that is a compilation of me as I’ve grown there is a me from every age, stage, event in my life in my mind making my mental self image. I know that my mental self image is not what other people see. Hell I don’t even see my mental self image when I look in the mirror. I will sometimes see photographs of myself and it takes a minute for it to register that is me in that photo.

Some people say that I don’t like myself which is not true, I like the who, I am. I just don’t think that other people like that person. Mostly I don’t care if anyone likes me, mostly.

No one can say they truly do not care what anyone thinks about them. There are those times when you wonder what do we really know about what people think about us.

We know what they tell us they think but is it really what they think? Or is it some version of their thoughts packaged to be the most consumable by you when you ask.

So I’m not normal and I’m ok with that, I less ok with that other people may not be ok with my not being normal or average or what ever.

It feels at times though that the fringe is closer than when I last looked and that people don’t see me. They see past me, through me or that more likely I’m like what ever the visual equivalent is to white noise. You need it to fill in the spaces between things but it isn’t really important.

Of course it may just be the day and that while I’m trying to keep my mind from something it will not allow me to not go there. So much space between then and now and still the lights around doorways in the dark make me leery. Because what you find on the other side isn’t always what you hope.


Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

One step beyond

The dead have a way of remaining a mystery to us. We know what we know about those who have been with us and no longer share this level of existence.

This time of year has been a time when the death circles nearer for me, reminders of what was once and exists now only in that place between.

They say cats are half in and half out of the world of the dead, probably where the whole 9 lives things comes from, odd too that they are one of the few animals that will and are equipped to fight back even before they can see.

Why give that ability to any creature, unless there is a need for it.

What lies beyond? No one really can tell you until you’ve gone but we dismiss those who say they have.

Is the light they see the light of the after life or is it the light of the next life beginning of a rebirth.

Recently, I had a conversation with my father, which doesn’t seem an odd thing to say, unless you consider that he has been dead for the last 8 years.

This was as real a conversation that I have ever had awake in every respect. I woke from that conversation with a sense that things between my father and I were more settled than they have been.

We were getting along when he died, but to say we were close as father and son would not have been something anyone would have ever said of us. However, we were getting there.

Then he died.

There were things left unsaid between us as there are with any one who has lost someone. However I know that our last words were words of kindness.

In our recent conversation it was a continuation of where things were going in our time here if there were more time here.

Who knows, maybe it was just all the cold medicine, but I don’t think it was. This was real or at least it was for me. I can’t prove it to anyone else and the thing is I don’t need to prove it to anyone. Maybe it was just a collection of memories blending together and forming a dream conversation fulfilling some gap or void in that relationship. Maybe it was really a visit from his energy that remains in this world and we are just more willing to allow that energy to interact with us while we are asleep.


Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Nap Attack

Ever notice that napping and sleeping are completely different

I mean apart for the whole length thing because a nap can certainly be longer than you intended it to be.

I just woke from a nap the began much like a computer popping up and saying a threat has been found on your computer an emergency power down will begin in 5 …4…3…2…1

OFF

The screen fades to black before you can stammer out wait what?

So I was feeling better when I woke up today but I suppose that my internal scans were like nope we found a nest we need to divert all energy to combat mode

The germ fighting part of me asks, What is the alert human doing?
The brains responds, Nothing critical.
The germ fighting part says, Good, shut him off
The brain says that may take a bit
The germ fighting parts says, Shut him off now and stares at the brain
Then the brain says Ok, never breaks eye contact with the germ fighting part and reaches back and hits the emergency shut off. Whirrrrrrrrr blip power gone.

This was the kind of nap when you wake up, it feels like you have to pull your head back out of some hole in sleep land

Apart from being sick naps are different that sleep.

Naps you can fall out in a three piece suit with a tie, try to sleep like that, not happening unless you are Barney Stinson. Sleep requires a delicate balance of clothing based on the temperature, bed clothing, atmospheric pressure and the tilt of the earth.

During naps you can sleep face down on concrete, try to intentionally sleep there, you’ll walk around in a circle more times than a dog trying to mash down grass that doesn’t exist in your living room trying to make that seem a bit softer before committing to a lay down.

Naps really require no preparation at all, while getting ready to go to sleep is full of ritual and prepping and primping it’s like you are getting ready to give it up the first time. We all know that didn’t go as planned. And if it did good for you, nice work I mean that really most sincerely that takes effort to resist urges…ok wait off topic

Naps don’t require you to empty your brain of your troubles. You can have a million things on your mind and still be able to get your nap on. Have one little thing bothering you come time to sleep. I’ll be in to ask about the shadows, lines, cracks, holes in the ceiling later.

So times naps even turn in to sleep. You know that ones where you fell into a nap than wake up look at the clock and realize that is now past your regular time to go to sleep but too early to get up and call it an early start to the day. You have to avoid making the statement I’ll just go to sleep because you’ll lay there awake for an hour or more before drifting back off, but if you just say I’ll just nap a while longer then get up you’ll be back out faster than you can do math when you decide to hit the snooze button in the morning.

Mostly you don’t have that pressing need to pee after a nap like you do after you’ve been down for a sleep.


Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it is your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it is not your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

I think you are standing on my chest...

So I survived Thanksgiving but I may be referred to as Typhoid Man from now on. It appears that my body decided that because I have the next few days off it was the perfect time to let off the biohazard bomb in my body. By 4:30 in the afternoon I’m sure the grim reaper will be coming to see me soon and I spent the better part of the next 16 hours sleeping or rather trying to sleep. I’ve been coughing so much my kidneys hurt. Yay. (chagrin)

In other super happy fun time news

When you order fries to go from the fast food places there are two kinds of fries

The first kind are the fries in the packet, container, bin, bucket, or what ever thing they serve the fries to you in. Those fries are really good.

The other kind of fries, are the bonus fries. The bonus fries are those that end up on the bottom of the food bag that have escaped the container. You only get bonus fries when you get take out. The fries that fall onto the try in store are just spillage fries and it’s not the same.

The bonus fries are the same really as the other fries but they some how they taste just a little bit better than the regular fries. Because you don’t know that you have them until all of the regular fries are gone and then …

Bonus fries. That is the joy at the bottom of the bag

Well today stunt boy and I are coming back from the other one’s house and he got hungry. So we stopped, ordered and got back on our way. So we share the regular fries and then he eats his dead animal sandwich and then bonus fries.

Except that this time it was Bonus Fry

Stunt boy ate the only Bonus Fry, he didn’t even offer me half he just ate it

It was a very sad thing and the thing is I really want fries now because I didn’t get any bonus fries

In other news… I’m going to try not to die. Anyone have a bio hazard sign?


Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

The telephone is ringing, is that my_______ on the phone

They say that the more things change the more they stay the same. Seems that there is some saying for just about any situation and there is also generally counter argument too boot.

However waiting by the phone hasn’t really got the same meaning any more. Not that I’m waiting by the phone for anyone to call, because there isn’t anyone wanting to call me. More of the OFUCT but not the point.

Kids today don’t know the meaning of waiting by the phone. You had to stay at home to get a call and as soon as you left was when you were likely to get that call you were expecting. Le sigh.

But now you can go out, go here go there and everywhere and you can get that call most anywhere you go. Some places should be off limits but I’ve seen people take people into the public restroom talking away on the phone. Does the person on the other end of that line really want to hear you pee or drop a deuce? Well whether that person does or not they are about to be a part of that transaction.

I suppose the good thing is that it isn’t Skype

The anxiety isn’t really less though, once upon a time if you left your phone you could forget that you were expecting a call. But when it’s with you it’s a constant reminder that the person you are expecting to call you hasn’t called. Oh and they still haven’t called. Nope not yet, it can become maddening, add a bit of OCD and that is a recipe for a panic attack and some alcohol and you may have a reality break or at least a breakdown with sobbing for sure possibly some wailing and gnashing of teeth too. That last bit usually happens when someone say, it will be alright to sooth the sobbing and wailing and is greeted with WTF do you know (gnash, gnash) OMG and such

So try to live 24 hours without your phone just put it some where that you’ll remember where you put it. It was sort of hard to loose those wall mounted phones so the scramble to answer that expected phone call always went to the same spot.

Now you have to do the self body search to find the phone.

Side note I get a lot of women’s fashions don’t include pocket but is the bra the best place to keep the phone? Sure I don’t mind seeing the sometimes dip and retrieve but isn’t that asking for a possible wardrobe malfunction.

In other happy fun time news.

I am off work for the next four days as is most of country but I do not plan on shopping anywhere. Now I’m off to slay some video game bad guys.



Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Being Thankful ... mostly

Not to be all trendy but being that the holiday of giving thanks. I will take a break from my normal self deprecating rant and say some of things that I am thankful for in my life.

My kids doodle and stuntboy. I am thankful that they are healthy and happy and have made very good choices in their lives. They are intelligent and witty and being their dad is probably the best thing I’ve done with my life. I would like to see doodle a bit more often but I understand getting out there and doing your own thing.

I am thankful for the rest of my family but I’m not going to get into the particulars but we did get to see many of them recently on the trip out to LA.

I am thankful that in this economy that I have a job despite it’s ups and downs but don’t they all have those.

I won’t go on mainly because it isn’t really thankful to start flaunting all the stuff you are thankful for then it seems to be a bit snobby.

In other news

I really like the 2 broke girls show and wonder sometimes how they get some of that stuff on the TV. But I still laugh my ass off

In other, other news

Isn’t it time that we dial it back on the uber sarcastic stuff all the time. I mean serious 24/7/365 sarcastic remarks everywhere you go, enough … too much of a good thing is too much.

I think two decade of constant smacking remarks has really pushed us way past the full ration. Who knows maybe I’m wrong but perhaps maybe only every 4th remark would be nice. I don’t know

Well I’m off I promise this will get more interesting soon or it won’t but you can look forward to me beating myself up some more and that’s always fun.


Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Litter Box thought

Litter box thought of the night

History is there to serve as a guide post for us to learn and excel and we do take many steps forward before we take steps back.

However we are in a period of revolution and one of the things that many revolutions have in common is that the ruling class or those with power perceive those who serve and work as not being willing to work with a workable system and that the system isn’t broken.

Unfortunately as we look back at those revolutions the system the powerful defended as working and useful were not working and abusive

We may not be completely broken but we are certainly in need of a serious tune up.

Those in power do not see that things must change peacefully or eventually they will change by what ever means available

Generally something else those in power should remember about revolutions is that the ruling class doesn’t generally do so well in the survivability arena.

The people are speaking peacefully that the system needs to be changed, no one wants a free ride but they want what they pay for and not the run around and that when bargains are entered they are honored and not having the rules changed in mid game. Not sure why that is so hard to understand.

Pretty deep for cleaning a litter box

In other happy fun time news

I have coffee and it is a short work week

Currently playing Battlefield 3, which I like better than MW3

Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015