My father and bad socks

So my day began bemoaning the fact that my socks did not fit right. This has been a life long thing with me and my feet. It literally ruins my day, puts me in a foul mood and just disrupts any flow I have going on.

When you consider that a majority of the nerves in the human body end in the feet it begins to make sense that if your feet are not comfy you are not happy.

I guess next time you are having a bad day you may want to change your socks or put on a better pair of shoes. However that concept is not the point of this issue.

For lack of anything better to say and because my stupid socks were messing with my day I decided to share it with the world via facebook and twitter, I didn’t put it on my tumblr though

Several people liked it, assuming that they too have the same dislike of uncomfortable feet and my aunt left a comment about my father not liking the bad sock fit either. I did know that but I hadn’t thought about it in a while and didn’t make the connection this morning during my lament. Another friend said, “like father like son”

However when I read these comments at lunch time, It sparked a chain of thoughts and I spent the rest of the day during my wondering thoughts time thinking about my father and I and how else we were a like or not alike.

Coincidentally the anniversary of my father’s death was about two weeks ago. So I had been thinking about him a lot lately anyway and how it still is hard to believe that he isn’t here any longer.

They say as long as you keep some one in your thoughts they never really die. I suppose that is true and while my father and I don’t have conversations any longer there are times when I think about the words he would have for me or what he might say.

Like all children and parents my relationship with my parents had ups and downs. There were times that we simply did not get along at all and went for long periods without speaking. Other times we got along and bonded in our way.

My father was a very private person who didn’t share a lot of his feelings with people. I am like that. My father liked to discuss politics and current events.

I like current events but see politics as a corrupt and very evil thing and those in politics serve only themselves and themselves alone. I would rather muck out horse stalls than talk about politics the same goes for religion.

The list could go on and on about how we were a like or not alike. Which I could do but that would involve getting into things which are pretty personal and perhaps good reading or perhaps not if you didn’t know my father.

Like my father people rarely if ever saw him drink anything other than coffee. He drank his coffee black and all day long. I do the same. I do get in several glasses of water too but for the most part if it’s liquid and going into my body chances are it is coffee.

My father was a very good artist and had no formal training, at least none that I am aware. He drew houses with a lot of detail and I’m lucky enough to have one of his drawings. He drew houses for people and some of his ideas were built and some of them are part of the house where he lived and died.

I’ve come to peace with my father’s absence in that I know from our conversations that he didn’t want to linger in hospitals and he died in his sleep following a celebration. The celebration was my mother’s high school reunion. She was away on a trip with my youngest brother and he could have easily have not gone but he knew many of these people and was friends with a lot of them even if he had gone to high school in another state.

Everyone who was there later said that he was in good spirits and had a very good time with friends and some family as well.

I was visiting with my cousin in North Carolina the day he died and had tried to call a few times on my way back home but was never able to get a connection.

We had spoken about a week before and I know that that last thing we said to one another was I love you

Glad I ended up sharing my bad sock day because it lead to some better thoughts


In other news…

Stunt boy asked me If I kept all the beer I have in the fridge is on the bottom shelf to keep it from freezing. I said no, I keep it there because I don’t use it a lot and it’s out of the way there.

He says, Oh that must be why my mom keeps hers on the top shelf.


Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,






PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Just a bunch of stuff

Finding time, losing time, wasting time, time flies, out of time, I’ve got no time, out of time, time out, time in, how much time, when will we ever find the time.

It isn’t a commodity but sometimes we treat it as if it were. I think sometimes I don’t have the time to do this or that.

It isn’t that time is the issue we just aren’t willing to commit ourselves to that task for an estimated amount of time.

I think one of the reasons that I don’t like working with others or waiting on others is that it takes time away from other things that need to be done or that I want to get done or do.

It isn’t so much a control thing as it is a matter of wanting to keep everyone happy.

Part of my personality is that I see the benefit to both sides of a choice. Then if possible I want to do both provided that they are both legal.

I have trouble saying no to people in certain situations. I don’t in others it all depends on the issue.

However I know one of my largest sources of stress is lateness of others. I know what I’m doing and I do try to keep my schedules that I make with others because I see it as an insult to the person to waste their time. I certainly feel that way about people who are late that they do not respect me enough to be on time.

However I know some times that there are deadlines and time tables that are just meaningless and have no point other than someone else exerting their control over you.
Usually they attach some reward for you all them to have that control..

I see this as an area where I need to improve upon because I will develop temporary Tourette’s syndrome when someone is late and I’m sure my blood pressure is not at respectable levels.

This loss of composure isn’t always evident but other times it is certainly very visible I may as well be holding a sign that says horrible mean ugly and nasty things about the person because it is in my body posture even if I say the polite thing, oh it’s ok. When inside I’m screaming oh no it is not ok bleepity bleep bleep.

Being that patience is a part of mindfulness and how you let this effect your view, speech and action are certainly tested by your current state of mind.

I try to laugh at myself at those times and find a way to approach it in a meaningful way which resolves the problem at hand and then how to prevent the issue from reoccurring later.

When I figure it all out I’ll write a book about it and make lots of money until then I do try to avoid those Tourette’s moments

Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,





PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

See there is a deep end

Seems that some people will invent things to become upset about when there are not real things to be upset about. We are one of the most social of all societies and oddly enough one of the most anti-social as well.

A while back there was a thing I saw about the latest trend in relationships is emotional affairs. Now perhaps I should save this for a WTF issue but I won’t. Seriously though what is this about really?

The reality is that if you are concerned about an emotional affair you are really more concerned about control than you are being in a relationship. Control is one of the things that we all want or at least the illusion of control. Because really what do we really control?

We control very little when you think about it, we do not control anything in our lives including our one life.

However we try to control things in our lives and think about the times when you are the most frustrated is when no matter what you do you can not change they are beyond your control.

In a relationship you trust that your partner is open and honest with you but you don’t know if they are really being open and honest with you. You know what they want you to know … control. You tell them what you want them to know…control.

We just have to trust that it’s enough, but what if you don’t and you begin to suspect that your partner is having an affair? Ok that is pretty bad and it can have varying degrees of bad. I can be with a friend, a coworker, a total stranger, well to you, you know because they aren’t really strangers to your partner. Yeah ouch

Now you may be thinking hey invisible dude why are you talking about relationships you aren’t even in one what the hell do you know. Well I’ll be the first to admit that there is obviously something lacking in my ability to remain in a relationship. But I have been in several relationships and can recognize that trust, control and communication are key to keeping things going and with that not trying to create problems when there aren’t any problems or at least no problems worth mentioning.

Emotional affairs though, really? I can understand it may be bothersome that your partner has an emotional tie with someone else that they don’t have with you. But don’t have kids if you don’t want to see that in action everyday in your house. Your kids will bond with each parent differently. And it is likely that that emotional relationship will be stronger than the one your partner has with you. Sorry.

Sure you can understand the kid thing, what about co workers, though. Maybe a bit tougher to handle, however that depends on the work. Like my job for instance, if you don’t do it you really can’t understand it completely no matter how much the person talks about it. So there will be a bond based on shared experience that doesn’t exist with anyone on the outside of that arena. Perhaps you can handle the co-workers, maybe.

What about friends? Is your partner going to have to abandon having friends, ever in the relationship with you? Lets hope not because they can be a buffer in potential issues within the relationship. Sure they get to hear some of your problems and quirks but we are social so we talk though our problems. And if you always try to solve your problems from a singular mind set you are not going to solve all your problems. Hell you probably won’t solve a lot of your problems.

So if your parent connects with someone else in friendship, work, hell even platonic love and they never stray physically from you where is the problem. We are social, one person isn’t going to be enough to satisfy our emotional needs. There doesn’t have to be a lot of people but just a few that help us through things.

Some people related better to the opposite gender and can share things easier than they can with members of their own gender. Face if you are a woman trying to share your worries and fears with them can be a kin to posting it on your status wall on facebook. And if you are a man, it’s like throwing a piece of meat into a pack of wolves.

Now this isn’t true of all men or woman some can be very good confidants to same gender persons. So if your partner has a person with whom they confide who is the opposite gender and they become good friends in the process you have to trust that it will remain a friendship. Sure they may have a strong emotional bond but aren’t all friendships emotional bonds. They will be bonds that you do not share with your partner. They will have inside jokes that develop over time that you won’t know. As we know people better we allow them into a personal space bubbles more and more and with good friends they will be very close in that physical space and from the outside it may appear to be something it is not.

It goes back to trust, control and communication. How much do you trust your partner, how much to do tell them and how much control are you will to live without and just let things be what they are going to be.

Emotional affairs are just a problem we make up to try to control our partners a little bit more. You can have friends but no friends that are not our friends. You do that, you kill the person you had in the relationship.

Relationships are hard but if you want trust you have to give it, if you want communication you have to talk without judgment and if you want control you have to give it up and even then things change and people will grow apart and often times it will be one person who grows away but they usually will just pretend things are all cool until they feel they can land on their feet. The thing is you can’t control it and the more you try the less control you’ll have.

I don’t know I see that emotional affairs are just a form of jealousy, but I can also understand that they can be precursors to an actual affair. Which ones will stay friendships with really strong emotional bonds and which ones will develop into more who the hell knows? If I did know, well I’d be the richest person in the world.


Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,





PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015