How did I survive my childhood?

There are so many thoughts rambling around in my head that I don’t even know where to start with trying to unpack them all and get them out of my head. Most of the problems I have in my life are first world problems and really in the whole scheme of things do not matter even a little bit. The world will spin on even if I don’t do a thing. It just takes up too much space in my head and I don’t relax. However, the other day I was watching some kid do something that a kid will do and the helicopter parent was right nearby muttering something or other I couldn’t hear. Most likely it was some warning about not doing this or that or some such noise. The kid kept right on doing whatever it was he was doing over the objections of the parent. I could tell by the annoyed look on the parent’s face. That is the look of ignored authority. However whatever the kid was doing did not seem particularly dangerous. My childhood was a bit different, parental units did not helicopter around us. We didn’t wear helmets or knee pads or other safety equipment. I could say I came out the other side unscarred but that would be a blatant lie. I had my share of cuts sewn shut and scars from less than well thought out plans. We hunted each other in the woods with BB guns, rode bikes down hills with no brakes, my youngest brother rode a big wheel down a quarter of a mile hill on a main road around blind turns and the list could go on and on to the horror of those who were unaware of our hi-jinx. Yet somehow we lived. Every one of my friends stepped on a nail, cut themselves with a knife or some tool, ended up with some pretty deep cut, scrape or other injury and mostly we just kept playing. We just rubbed dirt on it and went on. I remember one time I wrecked my bike trying to impress a girl with a daredevil bike trick. At the high point of the trick I would zoom by the girl’s house at the bottom of the hill. The high point was me standing both feet on the left pedal holding the handle bar with my right hand, leaning the bike out to almost a 45 degree angle, going top speed, which may have only been 15 or 20 mph. It seems faster when you are in middle school. Well that incident ended with me hitting something which caused the front wheel to wobble and me over correcting the handlebar and leaning the bike too far out to the side which caused the bike to slide completely under me launching me forward no longer a passenger on the bike but an airborne thing above it. I landed on the bike and it and me skidded by the girl’s house in a twisted heap of metal, boy, and tires. The girl was not even home, I found out later, and therefore not impressed but several of her neighbors were impressed that I did not die as they saw me flipping down the road and came running from their houses. Fortunately I was able to ride the bike or more to the point it was not damaged to point of not working. It hurt a lot and I was bleeding from a lot of places but at the moment I was more embarrassed by not doing the trick well than being hurt. I wasn’t the only mental midget either, one friend deciding it would be a rather good idea to run across the field were are bull was fenced. The bull did not like his company much and chased him around a bit. Everything we did was legal, …well we will assume it was legal but to be sure most of it… well maybe none of it was not very smart. Like the time I jumped off the roof of my grandmother’s house to impress a girl and ended up with me in a leg cast and the girl not being very impressed. I’m not sure that there is a moral to all of this, maybe don’t do stupid things to impress girls or at least make sure they are home first. Maybe it is that boys are dangerous and shouldn’t be left alone for long periods of time. Well, that’s all for now, other stuff to follow most likely Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday Thank you for reading, please subscribe, Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood. Ciao, Invisible Don PS 3 / PS4 Gamer Tag: invisible don Invisible Don PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015 Send me Post Cards … I love Post Cards

I could tell you but I probably won't

Stuff and stuff We all have things. Stuff, even, thing that are ours and no one else’s. Even if our thing, is just like their thing, it is our thing. The stuff we have is ours and it makes us…happy? We all have stuff, stuff we don’t use, and for that matter stuff we do not even need. Hell maybe even stuff we don’t actually want. But we have it none the less and it is our stuff. Some of us have more stuff than we have places to keep stuff. I’m trying to get rid of stuff On one hand it is really easy to get rid of stuff. You find the nearest trash can and you toss that shit in. Go ahead, do it… if you can. Some stuff goes pretty easy other stuff doesn’t want to go. Trigger stuff. Stuff that makes you remember. Remember something that you haven’t thought about in ever so long. Like that kiss under the stars, leaning against the damp stone of the building not caring if anyone saw. The horrible trip, The broken bones, The funny story you and your best friend laugh about with only a single word, because of some ugly little trinket. A child’s first homework, The piece of art which is a tree? No, it’s a shark…what the hell is it? It doesn’t matter what it is now you remember the child that needed you more than anything else… the child who is now an adult. All time gone away. Saved in the bits and bobbles all in boxes, up on shelves, tucked into corners. All the stories, travels, memories of a hundred yesterdays all begin to pile up and accumulate. Then you look at things and struggle to remember, why did you keep the placemat from the Chinese place, which time was it that you went. What is my animal sign? The memories are there but the reason for the touchstone is lost but many times it is not. Cleaning up can be a bigger adventure than you supposed. Perhaps more than you bargained It can seem like each little thing you touch comes with a flood of memories and you find yourself sitting in a room that isn’t really cleaned up any more that it was two hours ago but you are mentally worn out from all the emotions you’ve just experienced. Well, that’s all for now, other stuff to follow most likely Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday Thank you for reading, please subscribe, Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood. Ciao, Invisible Don http://invisibledon.diaryland.com/images/burningname.gif PS 3 / PS4 Gamer Tag: invisible don Invisible Don PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015 Send me Post Cards … I love Post Cards

Sexy Ugly

What is attractive, good looking or beautiful depends largely upon who is doing the looking. The saying, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ rings true, because as much as we try to homogenize and make it all the same, we fail. As much as the beauty industry tries to bring it to a science of this is attractive and this is not, the mark is missed. We still find things to be alluring to us that do not fit with convention. The idea of sexy ugly is something I heard in a film and the concept stuck with me. The line, if I remember correctly, was that someone is so unattractive that they are attractive. Which I didn’t really disagree with because at the time I had my own popular sexy ugly person I could point to and say yes I agree. However this not really fair to the person I labeled as sexy ugly because I did not think they were ugly but did not try to make it more understandable and went with the words sexy ugly. Driven yet again by convention out of my own lack of motivation to define it further. Everyone finds attraction in something and sees a beauty others may not and while someone may not be conventionally pretty does that necessarily mean that they are not attractive. I say no. I like a face with character something that is unique and has a quality not in other people. And while a broken nose may disfigure one person it adds character to another. All the lines, wrinkles, scars, freckles, and the other countless little imperfections which the fashion and beauty industry would have you erase and cut away make a face unique. It is odd how we all try to be the same, yet strive for individuality and work against the things that truly make us just a little different to meet someone else’s definition of beauty. I think the people who embrace themselves for who they are genuinely are the happiest. However I struggle with the plight that many do when I look in the mirror I don’t always see what others say they see. We are all bombarded by all sorts of image standards and it is hard not to let it take a toll or maybe it is easy avoid it and I am just that superficial to allow it to bother me. Some days I see a reflection I enjoy and then other days I would rather break every mirror than to see the reflection looking back at me. Usually I just let it go, I think of the sexy ugly thing and go about my day avoiding my reflection until I have to wash my face or brush my teeth. Then I will scowl at myself and make faces and generally let myself have a good verbal beat down. I’m pretty good at it too. Name calling is a skill best reserved for yourself. No one knows your weak points like you do and I don’t usually pull any punches when I’m mirror bashing myself. Then I’ll let it go because I can’t really change it and I embrace it, and then the cycle will repeat again. Have no fear most days I look in the mirror and I just see me for me and I don’t worry about what is conventional or not. Well, that’s all for now, other stuff to follow most likely Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday Today’s title: line from the movie, “Kissing Jessica Stein” Thank you for reading, please subscribe, Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood. Ciao, Invisible Don PS 3 / PS4 Gamer Tag: invisible don Invisible Don PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015 Send me Post Cards … I love Post Cards