Monday, January 12, 2015

It all depends on where you are standing

A story largely depends on where you are standing if it is a comedy or a horror story. Once upon a time my brother, the other one, and I were ski instructors. It isn’t really all the fun the movies make it out to be. We are required to tell anyone it is not fun because if we didn’t, the world would be full of ski instructors, and then nothing would get done. However, whether being a ski instructor is the best job in the world it not the story. One of the many things that ski instructors do is hang out together, laugh, and tell stories, generally in bars. Once ski instructors start having kids they start bringing them to hang out too. Well on one particular afternoon, the other one and I were hanging out with a lot of other instructors and one them brought their child with them. This child was like most little kids and saw hanging out with grown-ups as dull as a bowling ball, or as much fun as poison ivy. Kids get bored when they have nothing to do. When kids get bored they begin to be pain in the butt. It isn’t really their fault though but fact is fact and this kid was nearing the, “I’m about to be a pain in the ass threshold” for this outing. Well as luck would have it at the time, while the other one and I were adults as far as the law was concerned we weren’t really grown-ups. So we came up with a way to keep this kid occupied. Which to his delight was tossing him across the bar as in a game of hot potato or egg toss. The other one and I were standing maybe four feet apart at first the kid was in mid-air all of a second, if that long. Unfortunately that was boring to us after a few tosses. So we, the other one and I, decide to take a step back after every few tosses. Further and further away from one another. Tossing this kid between us like he is training for the circus or something. The distance between us kept getting larger and was now maybe somewhere close to ten feet, the kid is airborne still only for like two seconds. He is happier than he probably had been ever at that point in his three year old life. Each trip across the span the kid’s arms were spinning in the air, a smile on his face that couldn’t be pried off, and a contagious laugh erupted that had a dozen or so other so called grown-ups including the kid’s dad entertained. So entertained that we did not see the kid’s mother come into the room. Now as a mother, the last thing you expect to see when you walk into a room is your three year old being thrown in the air between two ski instructors and a crowd of adults laughing as loud as the kid at the scene. The kid was midway between the other one and me when his mother walked in. She walked in behind me so I never saw her face, but I saw the other ones face, and I knew it wasn’t good. To say she freaked out would be an understatement. To the kid’s credit he tried to defend me, he tried to defend the other one and he even tried to defend his dad. He even begged his mom to go again. Of course mom was having none of that, and the kid makes it worse by saying something a kin to mom not being any fun. Which prompted a lot of suppressed laughter from the “grown-ups” in the room and a lot more trouble for the dad. I’m willing to bet that was the most fun that kid had for at least another year or so. Just as I’m equally sure the mom’s version of this story is not a comedy but a horror story. It all depends on where you’re standing or flying. Well, that’s all for now, other stuff to follow most likely Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday Thank you for reading, please subscribe, Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood. Ciao, Invisible Don PS 3 / PS4 Gamer Tag: invisible don Invisible Don PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015 Send me Post Cards … I love Post Cards