So a week or so ago my daughter calls me, I can tell it's her because her phone rings distinctive from other phone calls. I glance at the time, it's about the time she would be getting out of school.
I answer expecting her to say something like hey can I go to your house instead of mom's. Instead right after I say, Hello.
She says, "What's the sentence for a class one misdemeanor?"
Well the Hello, quickly becomes HELL NO in my head. But I manage to keep it together and ask the best possible question, Why?
"Just because." she says indifferently.
"are you in trouble?"
No
Are you planning on getting into trouble?
No
Why do you need to know this information
Someone I know hit there Mom
You didn't hit your Mom, did you? I tried not to sound hopeful.
I well it really depends on some things but it could be some jail time to probation or both. Where are you?
At Mom's
OK are you sure you aren't planning on hitting her?
Yes Dad, OK thanks for the info love you bye
Bye
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Sunday, January 8, 2006
It's only in my head
And it’s one more day living in my life. My absence from writing is one of both time and introspection. Trying to figure things out. Things were easier in the drink and not thing phase. More expensive but less complicated. I didn’t ponder things as much, just pour the bourbon in the glass barkeep and keep ’em coming until you think I need to call a cab.
I’ve been stuck in my thoughts about my past. I’ve forced myself to walk to the edge to get as close as I dare to the darkness and then to see if I could step once more. I know I could except for one thing, well two actually. I can’t leave them with the same sleepless nights and constant wondering and assigning blame to myself.
I wonder what it would take though, what would have to happen to push that beyond that limit. I can hear her calling from across the void. All that we don’t know about that crossing. And it’s one more day and it’s been so long .
So I walk in between living and dying.
And I poured another bourbon in the glass
It won’t hurt as much if I can’t feel it.
I’ve been stuck in my thoughts about my past. I’ve forced myself to walk to the edge to get as close as I dare to the darkness and then to see if I could step once more. I know I could except for one thing, well two actually. I can’t leave them with the same sleepless nights and constant wondering and assigning blame to myself.
I wonder what it would take though, what would have to happen to push that beyond that limit. I can hear her calling from across the void. All that we don’t know about that crossing. And it’s one more day and it’s been so long .
So I walk in between living and dying.
And I poured another bourbon in the glass
It won’t hurt as much if I can’t feel it.
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