It's only in my head

And it’s one more day living in my life. My absence from writing is one of both time and introspection. Trying to figure things out. Things were easier in the drink and not thing phase. More expensive but less complicated. I didn’t ponder things as much, just pour the bourbon in the glass barkeep and keep ’em coming until you think I need to call a cab.

I’ve been stuck in my thoughts about my past. I’ve forced myself to walk to the edge to get as close as I dare to the darkness and then to see if I could step once more. I know I could except for one thing, well two actually. I can’t leave them with the same sleepless nights and constant wondering and assigning blame to myself.

I wonder what it would take though, what would have to happen to push that beyond that limit. I can hear her calling from across the void. All that we don’t know about that crossing. And it’s one more day and it’s been so long .

So I walk in between living and dying.
And I poured another bourbon in the glass
It won’t hurt as much if I can’t feel it.