The natural world is not a theme park

Today Stunt-boy was sick and didn’t go to school. He is feeling a bit better now later in the evening however now I’m feeling like I’ve gotten what ever it is that he has gotten.

Yay, that’s exactly what I need. I do not have any problem taking care of my children when they are ill and if I’m work place wants to complain about it I’ll have something to say which won’t be fun to hear.

However, I hate being sick myself.

With that said was reading about a book I’m still trying to get finished. “Into The Wild.” I had the same problems with another book by the same author, “Into Thin Air.” The point is that I’m not particularly fond of the writing style or really the point that Mr. Krakauer attempts to build an epic level sympathy for the main character, Chris “Alexander Supertramp” McCandless, as if he did some great thing by falling off the grid then dying in the middle of nowhere Alaska.

I know this has been said by several thousand voices before me. I don’t the Mr. McCandless is a hero, in fact I think his death was due to his own arrogance that he was smarter than most people he came across and felt that he could do anything that he heard or read without attempting any practical application of what he was attempting to learn.

I do admire his attempt to cutting himself off the grid in a sense but he didn’t really but more so than most people ever do in their lives. There are people who live off the grid and we don’t hear about them - because they don’t end up dead in the woods. Do I have what it takes to live in the wild. No, I don’t. I recognize my limitation and realize that I could live without many of the things I have and I’m working on eliminating the excess from my life.

The truth is that the corporate world wants us to crave and think that we need all the crap they are putting out there. While I can agree that the world that McCandless was running from needs to change and the frustration of seeing just how corrupt the corporate world really makes most people feel like running away. However, shouldn’t you try to fight the horrible world rather than runaway from it but if you do decide to run away from the world do it with a bit more sense.

The natural world is not a theme park, you don’t buy an admission ticket from some teen in a cage working for spare cash so they can buy x-box live membership credits. It’s the real deal out there and mother nature doesn’t show any mercy, she doesn’t feel sorrow or remorse for taking the lives of those who do not respect that life is cruel. McCandless died and that is sad, and his family surely lives with so many unanswered questions as to why and what if, however if he had used his obvious intelligence to take some preparations he would perhaps be alive today. He is not a hero in my eyes just a person who failed to realize their own limitations and was poisoned by the very society he was running away from that if you go you get to ride all the rides. Well you don’t get to ride all that rides and if you try to ride the rides which you aren’t ready for in nature you just might die.

Perhaps you can get through the book better than I can. The movie was ok and would give it a three over all.


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Gemmah, Recon!!!!!! and other random stuff

GEMMAH, RECON!!!!!!!!!!! And other random stuff.

The title has nothing to do with anything. Except that it is the all encompassing thing for some people. If you have no idea it shows the insignificance of it all however if you do know what it means then it is a kin to the templar treasure.

Fred on you tube is funny.

I’m still protesting the RIAA - because they are horrible people but I really want an I-pod so I can block out the noise at the office but I don’t really have the money for an I-pod or to get a subscription to I-tunes and a lot of people I know say I should just steal music. Hello! That is way I’m in a protest of the RIAA they said I was a music pirate. Stealing music is bad. But stealing money is bad too, so why does the RIAA steal money from the artists. I guess technically they steal music too by pressuring artists to sign contract which force them to give up the rights to the songs they write and give a majority of money derived from those songs to the RIAA. Hmmm. Who is the pirate here?

I have had a weapon pointed at me at least a dozen different times that I can think of.

People have shot at me from a distance a few times.

I’m not sure if I’ve shot any one or not and there is a whole chain of things that go from there.

I have a lot of scars some you can see and some that only I feel.

Wow and other things

I think this one person is probably having an affair but it’s not my concern because I don’t know either person. But that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

The new cat is doing well

The old cat is also doing well

The yard cat doesn’t seem to complain either.

The dogs are still missing.

I have saw. But I have not seen my saw

My dreams still disturb me.

I many be A.D.D. I don’t think I’m O.C.D.


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

It isn't that day anymore

So how do you explain something to someone who has no real frame of reference for what you are saying without it sounding like an excuse or pathetic. I know there are things I don’t really get but I do try to be empathic about where others are in their lives. We are free to choose but our choices are limited sometimes by others or by circumstances where we find our lives.

So today I was asked “Why don’t you do this or that?”

I gave lots of reasons why, but really it‘s only one. Mainly I choose to try to be a good parent and be there for my kids and I still choose them over things for myself. Do I regret this, no I don’t regret this choice.

Has it changed my life? Yes it has and mostly I think in a good way. I don’t exactly how it has changed my life but it has. I know I have memories of my children doing things with me and me being there for them and their having more opportunity because of my choice. Now I see them making choices that I would make and choices I wouldn’t make. Doesn’t make me a failure as a parent when they go a different way. I also know that I tried to empower them. I also know I’m not the only one teaching them. Could I have chosen not to be there for them. I certainly could have chosen that path. Where would that road have taken things?

I can only speculate. Would things be any different? Perhaps, they would be maybe they would be exactly where they are now but for different reasons. At least then I could look to myself and know that I made things this way.

Still it’s a choice that has an impact far more reaching than this day and those gone by.

Would I want things differently, certainly. However other people make choices too. Their choices have impacts, either in the reality of someone’s life in that moment of then and there or in the choices of others and our own choices either create or limit opportunity/choices for others.

The choices I made were impacted by the choices of others in my past, and in my present.
While my choices were limiting to my activities they created opportunity for others. My hope is that making the choices today will open more opportunity later. I don’t have a crystal ball, I won’t read my own cards because the crone said it was bad luck to do that, and my dreams only show me pain which is likely to occur or is occurring. So right now I’m creating opportunity for them because I want to do this. Not because I have to, you don’t have to do anything but die. I wouldn’t have the job I have today if people had to make this choice. So I choose.

I justify with other reasons too which are more choices, being shy AKA not being overly confident, being burned by others a few too many times, taken advantage of by others, used, and lots of other unpleasant things. Lack of money which everyone seems to have a bit too much of the lacking today. Yet lots of people want more money for less goods/service than yesterday. Which makes the lack even worse.

You choose it though. Yes I choose. Why don’t you do this it doesn’t cost that much or something else. Well I choose not to have the debt for that because I would like to be able to pay my heating bill. I turn the heat down so I can pay to do something fun a few times a year. Choices or excuses. If you can’t be empathetic they are excuses if you can the are choices.

Maybe I’ve made the wrong choices and I’ve gotten it all wrong. Perhaps when I was six if I had just looked at the cars instead to the trees, it would have all been different.


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Shakin the bush boss, Shakin the bush.

I really need to proof read these things. I can’t afford to pay an editor so that means I need to develop a habit of proof reading. Why? Well because it doesn’t make any sense not too do it. However the reality of it is that I get caught up in doing one thing and then another and I just don’t take the time to do because I don’t feel like I have the time to do it .

I found out today that the only way to get the proper answer is to do it exactly the way the petty power hungry people want it done because they don’t care about making a scene or putting your head on the block instead of theirs.






Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

That's why daddy named you Joe Dirt, Joe Dirt.

From one extreme to another.

So I was thinking about right speech and that has been put to the challenge lately. So have many other things. Currently in my work there is a person whom is power hungry. I’ve found that there is no way to deal with power hungry people they are if anything persistent it is better to leave them to their own paranoid little world where everyone is out to get them and they have to belittle, argue and have everyone conform to their way of doing things.

It’s like the problem is 2 + 2 = 4

Well do 5-1, 3+1, 8-4, 10-6 and so on all equal for but if you don’t arrive at the same conclusion in the same manner well then your way is wrong. No it is not wrong it’s just not how you would do it.

It must be done my way and no other because I said so.

In other news

A co-worker of mine has not seen many a good movie because … well you know I’m not sure why he hasn’t seen any of the movies he hasn’t seen. However until yesterday I had not seen Joe Dirt.

The reasons for this were, I don’t think it was funny from the trailer, I don’t think David Spade is always that funny, in fairness he has his moments, and I don’t know I just felt that it wouldn’t be that good.

Unrelated to David Spade but related because he is like a lot of other actors coming from the late night players just because you were on SNL does not mean you are obligated to star in a movie.

He laid the down this saying that he could not truly good faith take any movie recommendation seriously if I had not seen Joe Dirt.

Joe Dirt. Of all movies out there This is the cinematic jewel by which to some extent all others must be judged? Seriously (stealing from SNL)

So it arrived in the Netflix pack. I opened it and beams of light from the heavens or my TV I’m not sure which erupted into my living room. I’m pretty sure it was my TV. I put it in the DVD player. The welcoming bass of George Thorogood rang out of the speaker. Hope swelled in my heart think well if the Bad to Bone Delaware Destroyer has sold out on this perhaps I should put on my cobra snake neck tie and pour a triple threat and relax cause the house rent blues are not playing.

Well I did not pour myself the one bourbon, one scotch and one beer before sitting down in front of the Saga (SAG-GAH ala Dennis Miller) of Joe Dirt and wished that I had done that a couple of times by the end of the movie. However it was not the worst movie in the world. Some high points the queen of the trailer park Jamie Pressley she plays white trash a bit too well, Christopher Walken need I say more, and Rosanna Arquette she really is the female Christoper Walken as far as you need a good actor to play it straight, off the wall, bizarre-o chick, drug addict, sex addict, saggy boobie t-shirt print wearin croc farm owner she is the gal to call.

Low points Kid Rock - nothing more need be said, 747 pilot mooning - WTF???, Carson “are you really that hard up for work” Daly

It is not the worst movie in the world that claim in my opinion still belongs to the Blair Witch Project. - I’m sure there are worse films but those films haven’t taken 90 minutes of my life away that one has and I prayed for them to die from about 45 minutes into the film I wanted to be the one to kill them.

So Joe Dirt on the 5 star scale and zero scale I give it a 2 - I’m not glad I saw it but I’m not over all sorry I saw it either

The movie scale is
0 - hated this film - not worthy of mentioning except to say burn it burn it burn it before it is seen by others,
1 - Sorry I saw it - Can I have a refund of the money of my life which ever is easy for you to recover.
2 - Not glad but not sorry either - not recommending and only admitting to seeing if cornered or to win a bet.
3.- worth the look for me you will have to decide on your own - I’ll tell you what I think if you ask
4 - worth recommending - depending on your taste you should like it but if you don’t it’s not my fault -it does reach across genre barriers most action movies end up here.
5 - must see - for me there is a message in the material or there are things done in the film which make it a ground breaking film

Gotta run


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Right Speech

In reading about the right speech I assume this to include writing. Because what is writing but the unspoken word. I know I write mainly for myself and then secondly for those who may or may not read this. However, mainly my intent is to just get things out of my head and to gain perspective and insight and perhaps see things from a different point of view.

Sometimes it’s to be a release of my anger or other potentially anti-social emotions. If I can scream here it is better than screaming in someone’s face. Because that doesn’t help things. However I do believe that there are times when that is what people want you to do so they can appear to be offended when you sink to their level.

It bothers me when things are forced to that by others. Now nothing like this has happened recently but I find myself in a situation that words are not really going to be the answer. I’ll have to think on it some more.

In the mean time I’ll have to continue to walk the long way to and from the restroom.




Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Comtemplative

Contemplative.

I have been deep in thought and shallow in thought the last few days and thus no entries have been made. However I’m not sure I’m to the point where I’m going to share the things in my thoughts right now, well in truth some of the things in my thoughts right now. Others will be said with abandon.

I. Started a new writing project the idea came to me in the middle of yard work, was echoed by a friend who said that would make a good story. So I started.

II. Looking back on things and forward and sideways too. All sorts of things in my life. All the pieces don’t fit, some are missing, some aren’t even mine I don’t think. It’s a puzzle and some times I think I’m standing too close to it.

III. Watched a couple of movies I know you’ll find that my movie watching habits are either so woefully behind everyone else has seen it before me or it’s not something many people have seen.

Wristcutters: A love story. So despite the personal curiosity in suicide and how can it be a love story I decided to give a watch. I liked it, is it a great movie. Eh, depends on how you define great. It’s worth a watch and don’t regret the 88 minutes spent watching.

And

The Big Empty
Jon Favreau is probably one of my favorite actors. It was an interesting movie and I really liked it, I would recommend it to anyone who is open minded enough to watch a movie without big explosions and pointless catch phrases. That said I like those movies too but both worlds can exist and have merit. Just open up a little bit and look outside your own little box.

IV. I have a new cat. Well he is a used cat but new to me. He is getting along well with Mouse the cat.

V. Trying to be more productive as in more focused and not all modern day segmented focused. I think that because we have become so used to seeing things when we want and know the can always go back to things we tend to only half focus on things and loose a lot of the details. That is worthy of a full entry and better thought so I’ll stop. In true modern fashion.


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Change the world

Please go to the site below (copy and paste the URL) and read the information and sign the petition if you agree that strip mining should be stopped. Or if you already agree go to the site and sign the petition.

http://climategroundzero.org/


Please speak up and tell your leaders the time is now to change outdated practices which destroy our natural world. It's time for us all and our leaders to be the guardians of the future generation by making the choices that will change the world in which we all live for the better.

Thank you very much.

Make an act of contrition

More pondering, rather than pandering. I may have missed something along the line. A number of times I’ve been called priest or pope not that have lived a priestly life or even what one would call a pious life. Some would argue that the virtues associated with those names were as far removed from me as Pluto (not the dog) is from the Sun.

However, one virtue if you want to call it that is I listen well. I don’t always offer advice or the best when given, I don’t judge the person who is telling me things or I try not to show it, and I think most importantly I don’t tell people’s secrets. If they tell me something I keep it too myself. If I see something I keep it too myself. If I just know something that would be not my right to share I keep it too myself.

As a result of this people will tell me, the most damaging, the most embarrassing, really horrible things about other people, the most bizarre things about themselves. Things people would take to their grave stuff too.

I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone truly fill that bill for me even though I did have a confessor at one point. Someone I felt I could tell anything too and did. They know things about me that I didn’t tell other people but they did tell some things.

I seem to take on that role with many people and haven’t ever realized that I have filled that purpose of confessor. I have even kept things to myself that could have altered my life at times. There was one time I did not keep that role about something and in retrospect probably should have because the truth didn’t serve any purpose but at the time I felt that the person did need to know.

I have already written about it so it’s not like I’m letting anything new out of the bag. Doodle and CPG had a huge fight once, which led to doodle living with me and she hasn’t lived with CPG other than a few weeks since then for 4 years. CPG was drunk screaming and threw doodle out of the house. CPG told doodle, I wish you had never been born; you have f---‘ed up my life, I should have kept the appointment to have you aborted instead of letting your f---ing dad talk me out of it.

Well Doodle asked me if that was true. It wasn’t in the middle of the fight I wasn’t there when that happened. I was called while I was out with friends by my daughter saying her mother had thrown her out of the house. I tried to call CPG to see if this was Doodle playing me against her mother. She didn’t answer the phone. I pull up to CPG’s house and Doodle is there on the porch things in hand and the door is locked and she isn’t answering her phone or the door.

I took doodle home, got her settled and then we talked about it when she was ready a few days later. CPG didn’t attempt to talk to Doodle for over a week. No calls to her or asking for her.

She called me once asked where she was I said at my house. And she told me to f off and hung up when I asked what was going on. Anyway I did tell her that her mom had scheduled an abortion and we did talk about was this the right thing to do or not. Doodle asked me what my first thoughts were when I found out about CPG being pregnant. Honestly I was ready to be a father in that moment. However to be completely honest if you had asked me a day before I would have said no I’m not ready, if you had asked me the minute before I knew CPG was pregnant I would have probably said no I don’t want to be a parent. And I would have said schedule the appointment. I didn’t say that though I said lets keep it and I did say it. I’m not going to try to color my role to be perfect. I also said every parent has times when they wonder what my life would be like had I made different choices. I haven’t regretted making the choice to be a parent even now when my daughter won’t speak to me or return calls or letters.

So I answered a question honestly I answered it honestly including my own role in it and my own doubts about parenting. I could have left out things about myself or painted things about CPG to make her seem worse in the situation. I tried to soften the words that I know hurt doodle deeply and they can’t be taken back. I grew up with a lot of the same words, stupid, worthless, pathetic, piece of sh-t and more.

I’ve tried to understand were it all comes from to soften it. Many times the truth is ugly and hurtful and it isn’t what people want to know. But sometimes to survive you have to find someone to tell these things too or it will eat you up inside. If my role of confessor for those who do tell me things helps them I’m glad to be there

Now to figure out my own things.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Not what I'm thinking about.

Recently I’ve been having some moments of clarity
The questions coming in at the right time as I ponder things

Then the truth in some of these things is less than thrilling.
I begin to wonder why does this happen?

I was teaching my class last night and part of material covers the loss of the American Dream and it not being something that many people can see as a reality or a realistic goal any longer.

As this relates to delinquency if you populous no longer see the value in abiding by rules that will only serve to keep them from prosperity then there is no need to adhere to those rules. Disillusioned, disenfranchised, discontented and then the system no longer works.

People go to work but they don’t perform
They are waiting for the axe to fall
They see CEO’s steal the retirements of thousands of workers and while they go to jail. These workers who have given their lives not essentially in reality to EARN these rewards are told by the system we are sorry it is tragic but there is nothing we can do to help you.

Are you kidding? No

Then company after company cuts benefits for the workers and greed allows for a few to prosper and many to give their lives for another person gain.

This isn’t the agreement that we the people signed on for or are socialized to believe and told hard work pays off … it does not.

You can be anything you want to be… you can not. Congratulations to Mr. Obama for defying the odds however this isn’t a reality for most of the people.

We should be happier with less. In deed we should be and many people do find happiness with less and do not need to flaunt things.

However, when a company says yes if your procedure had been done in this building, rather than the one you had the procedure performed in then it would be covers. That is greed. Because if the procedure is covered by insurance then it should not matter who does it or where it is done. But both of those are factors in how our medical insurance looks at things.

WTF?

You can’t expect people to have faith that a system which does not look to protect its own will have people willing to make the hard choices and sacrifices. They will after pushed to a point rebel.

We should look at our own history.

The crown pushed we took it.
The crown pushed further we took it.
The crown pushed further still we took it.
The crown pushed when times were tough … we didn’t take it, couldn’t take it, stood up and said no more.

Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it.


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Super weekend?

Ended up working both days this weekend. Hmmm I read that what you do on new years day is what you will do all year. I hope that isn't true. I was alone and working. I really am going to change that unfortunate accident. I was on call for new years and didn't volunteer for this. I had a good day that day if that matters for anything.