I have painted myself
Painted myself
White with purity and sanctity and vowed to live chaste
I became the acolyte
Painted myself
Red with wrath and war, killed for killing sake and drank deeply the venom of those days I became the sword of Mars
Painted myself
Brown with responsibility and loyalty and tried to be the good one
I became the failure in their eyes
Painted myself
Gold with love and happiness and carried the load
I became a smile
Painted myself
Blue with sadness and grief, held the corpse of a dear one in my arms
I become the wails and tears
Painted myself
Green with life and succor adopted the live and let live
I became the tree
Painted myself
All the colors trying clawing trying to find my place
I became the canvas
Painted myself
Painted myself for
Painted myself forgotten
Painted myself forgotten from the scenes an empty space on the sidewalk beside life.
Painted myself
No color at all
Painted myself outside the frame
2/3/2010 invisible don
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So you exist somewhere underneath all of the paint...and at the safest, yet lonliest place - outside of the frame.
ReplyDeleteI know how it feels when you don't feel known by others...I mean, not TRULY known. Yet, in retrospect, I wonder if it's because I wasn't letting myself be known - or perhaps I didn't know myself enough or I didn't accept myself enough (good and bad aspects) to be known. It can be exhausting, though - trying to express and/or find yourself in the game of life. Wanting to share yourself - but not too much. It's like fighting against instict. At the same time, one thing I have learned in the past two years is that you shouldn't always fight where you're at in life (or where someone else may be). Sometimes, we are stuck for a good reason that isn't clear to us now, but will be one day.
-Chandra