Not that I didn’t want to know this person and I certainly did not know them before we started writing.
What started me on writing this particular person is unclear. I had a list of about 100 names on it with people to write who all had one thing in common… they were in prison.
My prison pen pal…not your average ho-hum run of the mill writing buddy. My particular pen pal was in prison for armed robbery and cocaine. I’m not entirely sure how the cocaine was related other than it was a bad habit he had picked up.
Although I had started this paper conversation without a clear understanding as to why I was doing it, there was something there in those conversations. We wrote back and forth for a bit over two years and about the time I left the seminary is when we stopped writing.
I wonder sometimes what became of this pen pal. Granted he may have been pumping sunshine into the letters about how he had really changed or was it because of where I was in my life at that time that he confided in a seminary student things he would not confess to others.
All in all I don’t know who got more out of the … what ever it was, friendship I think best describes it.
He was a normal guy apart from being in prison. He had a hobby that he truly loved and was a published writer, one article in a magazine devoted to his hobby, but published none the less. He sent me a copy of the magazine it was in and others read his story would not have known it was written by a man who was in prison for a pretty bad thing.
His writing was perhaps his escape from the walls he lived in and couldn’t leave.
His family seemed to be supportive of him as much as they could but I think it bothered him that they didn’t visit and a stranger a whole country away was his only regular mail.
Part of me is curious to find out what happened to this pen pal, part of me is also cautious about finding this pen pal because he was in prison. Not because he would harm me I don’t think that is the case, just that it would shatter the illusion that he did get out and kept on the right path and got a decent job, repaired the relationship with his family and is a welcomed part of gatherings and events.
The harsh reality is that he may also have gotten out met the world who was closed minded and scared of a person who robbed a bank once upon a time, couldn’t find a job, sat in uncomfortable silences in rooms with family and friends who couldn’t find the words to just make small talk with their son, brother, or friend.
Two sides of a coin, it’s Schrödinger's cat without the cat and it’s a person I can choose to believe which ever possibility I want for my friend until I find out the truth and then it is unchangable. You can’t go back to the illusion. I hope my friend was able to keep his promises to himself and change.
I wonder too because I don’t bother to find out what really happened if that makes me a bad friend, but the truth is he hasn’t bothered to look me up in a day and age when almost anyone can be found if they want to be found.
Which is in sense the harsh truth that he didn’t succeed and ended up back where we first started talking but I hold out hope that he did succeed and is happy and not back in prison and maybe someday I’ll be the better friend and send that next letter.
Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely
Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday
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PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don
PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015
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