Perhaps I have the adult onset of attention deficit disorder … well I’ve probably always had it and have adapted specific coping skills which help me disguise the fact that I have this condition … is it a condition? What ever the point is that things get missed in life by the people around us, for example I probably needed glasses years before I got them but I didn’t get them until my junior year of high school. I remember that my technique for taking notes in class was to squint remember as many things as I could write them, squint again locate where I was on the board remember a new group of things and then repeat the process as quickly as possible and hopeful get it all done before the teacher erased the board. Which wasn’t all that often … so my notes were incomplete… therefore my grades were poor… therefore my basic skills in many classes were lacking, putting me behind my peers in many ways.
This happens a lot so I don’t feel slighted at all because of this and if I hadn’t been so introverted I might have said something but I didn’t say anything.
A re occurring dream I had all through school was a myriad of situations were my own insignificance was amplified and I couldn’t wake from the dream. It has evolved from just simple images to actual scenes and situations and my invisible body with voiceless screaming all having no effect on everything around me.
If you’ve read the blog for a while now you know just because it is incoherent to the average reader doesn’t always prevent me from posting what I’ve been thinking, if I can follow it or the chaos has purpose to veil a meaning then I leave it. Most of the stuff that gets the axe is stuff the crosses the line.
Which line…well that line were most people stop when telling a story, making a point, or anecdote and know that there point has been made… I’m a make sure the nail has been driven home and the line gets blurred when I cross over it.
There are a few people who get to see this in action and I’m sure they aren’t shocked to know even with them I don’t always cross the line. I know they won’t judge me too harshly because I’ve gradually exposed them to this with test comments and such. However this is not always the place to tear down the walls or have to defend a comment to the masses. Not that I feel I have to defend anything I say but it is more that if someone makes a comment stating that something I have posted has offended them and I don’t respond to it … it leaves me with the feeling that well perhaps they think I’m ashamed of what I’ve said and refuse to debate it.
No if something I’ve written has offended you… good you know where you stand on that particular subject … doesn’t mean I’m sorry if I’ve offended you and if I say I’m sorry you may not believe me and if you do I may not have meant it and just said it to make you feel superior than me … which is why we tell people they have offended us … because we believe our thoughts, value, ideas are better than theirs as expressed by what ever has us feeling offended.
So rather than not explaining myself all the time I just don’t always write a lot of what goes on in my head.
I’m trying to think of something with minimal potential to offend but still make my point and I’m struggling with it… so you’ll just have to take my word that cake batter isn’t always a reference to cake batter and it may or may not be what you are thinking or it might be both
The point is cake batter isn’t where the train is going to stop …it’s going on to the next stop just like the express that passes you by when you are late.
So that is where I’ve been lately in my blog writing and deleting things because they go too far.
Then there is the next level of things that hit the cutting room floor… I don’t like to share. Why write a blog then if you don’t like to share… because I like to share what I want to share but not everything that can be shared and even though I’m introverted I’m also a bit of an attention whore. But not the all so annoying look at me look at me whore but I do like attention … then I get freaked out a bit by it all too
Yeah I know I confuse myself a lot too. I should probably be a bit more open about all of that and not delete so much stuff. We’ll see but I walk a crooked road to get to a point that isn’t really all that far away from me so it may not happen all that quickly.
In other news…
I finally saw The Dark Knight Rises with Stunt Boy… it was awesome. Joseph Gordon Levitt is better than rather good and freaking stupendous I don’t have the vocabulary to express this man’s ability to bring a character to life and suspend disbelief. The whole revived Batman Trilogy with Christian Bale has been terrific.
Although I think Mr. Bale has been helped along by so many great cast members from Gray Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Michael Cane and all the other roles that have made these films with such incredible depth of story that you a truly pulled in the world of Gotham City and would not be a bit surprised if the bat light appeared in the sky
All the bad guys, Liam, Thomas and Heath made each film unique that are as complete as stand alone piece but not so over done that they don’t fit with the others films
In short if you haven’t seen this film you should.
Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely
Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday
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Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.
Ciao,
PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don
PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015
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