Inspiration v. Intimidation

As the years go by I’m finding there seems to be a fine line between a lot of things in life. Anytime that there are gaps in the issues of my blog it means that I’ve become introspective or started dating someone. Before you get terribly excited about that last bit I’ll put the kibosh on your hopes if you had any I’m not dating anyone that however is a topic for another day. So as you have likely surmised I have been introspective. Which is usually supposed to end with some discovery which pushes you toward some final understanding, and I have found the meaning of life. However, to quote or paraphrase Deep Thought, You’re not going to like the answer. In fact you won’t like the answer so much I’ve decided that it is best that I not tell you the answer. Rather talk about two things I like to do to occupy my time. Writing and drawing. They say that writers should write and artists should do something in what ever medium they practice everyday. Technically I do write everyday for my job. I have to tell stories of people who for what ever reason have become my clients, if you don’t know I am a child abuse investigator and sometimes the non fiction that I have to write for my pay check takes a toll on want to write anything more for the day. Now this doesn’t necessary take an emotional toll on me but sometimes what ever peeve I had planned to blog about seems to be really rather insignificant and petty in comparison. So I don’t write. On those days sometimes I draw. Which I enjoy but I don’t want to share because I look at most of what I put to paper as a drawing and feel rather wanting in my abilities. Inspiration to become motivated to produce something from an experience or encounter Intimidation to become unmotivated to produce something from an experience or encounter Very similar in meaning and I don’t know if those are the definition you’ll find in any dictionary but it is how I perceive the two words and what they mean as to my ability As to writing content I think I do pretty well however grammatically I shudder when I read some of the things I string together and pass off as the written word. I read stories that are mass produced and know that I keep myself entertained with ideas that are at least equally entertaining. It’s just getting them to paper. As to the drawing I start so many drawings and they don’t usually turn into anything recognizable or worth putting out for public critique. I am my own worst critic and as it would seem I’m also a source of inspiration. I had an English professor while I was in college who said don’t toss out what you write that you don’t like. Every writer I’ve read anything about kept notes galore on the works they produced. The professor was talking about writing poetry with the idea that you won’t sit down and write a poem completely in its final draft on the first run. Even Saroyan’s poem “Lighght” was probably written a couple of different ways or at least in different fonts and colors before it was finished. I don’t write a lot of poetry but I have remembered that and will keep the previous attempts of poems all ways with the most recent on top. Looking back you can see where you have made progress toward the intended message or feeling and perhaps where a wrong turn of phrase has gotten things too far off the way. As to the drawing I’ve not really had any formal lessons as such. I’ve taken the required art classes in school which were really more to expose students too all of the mediums rather than to hone a particular skill Which is fine if you under stand the basic skills then mastering them is just a matter of practice. Using the idea from a writing professor I don’t toss out anything I draw. Well unless it was really horrid. To make up for my lack of funding to take a formal drawing class I watch youtube videos, various animation films and films about well known artists. Mostly watching masters at work is intimidating rather than inspirational. Last night though I was looking for something and stumbled upon some sketches I had done a few years ago and put them next to something I’ve been working on currently. Progress and not just oh I prefer this one to that one but actual progress. The thing is watching a person do something they are well practiced, is often times more intimidating than it is inspirational to others. Social expectations are really skewed in our society where anything other than complete success is ridiculed and scorned often times more than those who don’t even try to do something, which is truly the bigger failure. I think it is fine to find inspiration in the great works of others but coloring that inspiration with an admiration that this person worked and practiced their craft to get to a level of skill and adeptness at what ever they are doing. You don’t always see what goes on being the scenes, or the rehearsals, you only see the finished product While I share some of my written thoughts I don’t really share much of my prose works maybe someday. The same with my drawings, I post some of it on my office door at work and occasionally as a handmade card I don’t really put it out there for public consumption. My desire may be to write a novel that sells very well with some illustrations by yours truly. However my expectation is that I’m most likely not going to be the next George RR Martin or JKRowling and certainly it is less than likely that I’m going to have anything hanging in a museum. However these are things which are relaxing for me help keep things in perspective that I have more going on than the work that I do for a paycheck and can entertain myself rather than relying on someone else to entertain me. Look to others for inspiration, admire their accomplishment, practice what you love, expect nothing and not trying are the only true failures in life. So draw, write, skip, hike, build, craft, invent and most importantly don’t listen to the voices in your head saying you can’t or it isn’t good enough. Who knows you may be a person someone else silently watches for inspiration. Well, that is all for now, other stuff on some tomorrow day most likely Happy Birthday if it is your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it is not your birthday Thank you for reading and please subscribe. Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood. Ciao, PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015