Star Wars VII: My take not really a review

Star Wars VII: Well it’s been some time and largely I have not said anything about the movie and I will try to avoid anything spoiler like in the review. Okay I can’t promise that, so if you haven’t seen the movie stop reading you have been warned. I will start by saying I’m not a fan boy but I do like Star Wars. I haven’t read much of the expanded universe or as some refer to it as the Holy Blessed Canon of the franchise. Which I suppose is as good as any place to start. This episode of the sage is thirty years or so after episode VI, also that same time in our reality. If you are making film for mass appeal, (which is what Lucas did / Disney does) you should be able to watch the films without having to dig into all that is Star Wars beyond the films to understand what is going on. Game of Thrones gets it; you don’t need to read with tell you all the important stuff don’t worry about the other stuff. Sure that other stuff is nice to hint at and to throw in to make the fan boys squeak with joy or hiss with disapproval, but you have to explain things a little bit. There is a pretty large gap in time and not a lot of answers as to did the rebels win the war, if they did why are they still fighting, what happened to the Empire are they gone or have they evolved into the first order, has the galaxy been at war all this time. That has to take a toll. Lots of hints at things crashed ships and all that but not a lot on the information front. You don’t need to spoon feed plot to your viewers but for the love of Bob at least have a conversation about it. Oh I don’t know Like Obi Wan did with Luke about there being a flippin’ Clone War at some point. Or that line about the Jedi having all died off. You know dialogue that moves the story or provides important information, this is largely absent in this film. Which brings me to my second point. Redundant much? Sure there is nothing new under the Sun has been said for two thousand years. Sure the bad guys and good guys are going to fight and they are going to use laser guns and the light sabre v light sabre. But seriously did they just recycle the story boards from New Hope to make Awakens. Nostalgia is one thing but come on, there really wasn’t anything new in the story. The deus ex factor in this movie was high, we have our character in a jam how do we get them out of the jam … magic … they are miracled away and have whatever skill/power they need to save the day. There was not a single time I felt like any major character was in danger of dying except once and that was so telegraphed if you didn’t see that death coming, there is a lot that surprises you and not just in movies. Spoilers How about some freaking character interaction? If Han and Leia have been married or at least knocking boots and naughty bits to make a maladjusted younger person don’t you think that they would have more to say to one another than the casual ‘Sup homes when they meet again? Leia gave Han more shade when he was blocking her path and that was long before he had given any reason to dislike him, but he gets to slide on the ah junior is a pain in the ass, marriage sucks, I can’t handle all this rebel bull shit anymore I’m gonna go back to smuggling with my home boy Chewie … not even an eye bat? A dirty word, not even a freakin’ nerfherder for crying out loud… Really…nope… just yeah me too. Then there is the whole thing with Luke… oh he is in some unknown part of space looking for the lost Jedi temple… nope right in the middle of known space just missing that part of the map. Which no one has bothered to look at ever… in thirty years … the same droid used to smuggle out the plans to the original Death Star is just sitting in the bin collecting dust, the same droid who as far as story goes is the pet of Anakin Skywalker in the pre Vader days, no use in oh keeping that droid working. Sure we’ll keep the annoying protocol droid which Anakin Pre Vader Skywalker freakin built but doesn’t recognize in original films but I digress in to the realm of lacking continuity. BB 8 goes oh this looks like a pretty interesting pile of scrap let me talk to it, because droids will just walk up to turned off junk and start messing about. I’m sure there is some fan boy theory Which explains that there was some super-secret code only the droids can read which said find me Love R2D2 I have a prize for you, follow my ping, There are a bunch more but as long as were are in the neighborhood on continuity how does a guy stop freeze not only a blaster ray but the dude who shot it, have your goon squad drag his simple ass to you, have an albeit short conversation, give commands and then after oh about ten minutes let the laser blast go and then later not just crush minimally skilled AWOL storm trooper with the force like a paper sack. I mean no user of the force has ever stopped a blast ray…ever … kudos for cool… but seriously … he can’t just whip the livin’ snot out of a Storm Trooper? I mean seriously pick up the light sabre and I will force choke the life right out of you in two seconds. Why even bother with the light sabre at all really, just crush everyone’s wind pipe that give you any guff at all. There are other things like the commander of a planet of First Order storm troopers feared throughout the known galaxy it taken hostage and gives in to the AWOL Trooper on janitorial detail without any hand to hand combat…seriously… there isn’t even a good defense of this. Fan boy defense of this movie is all over but there doesn’t seem to be a lot this is why this installment of the Star Wars Epic is the best ever. Did I hate The Force Tussles Around and Hits the Snooze Button a Few Times Before Lumbering Out of Bed. No but I didn’t love it. Stuff blows up, things fly around, I like the Rey character and BB8 is cool, the rest of it is blah, blah… Star Wars, … blah, blah. I don’t hate it but it doesn’t live up to the hype and is certainly not JJ Abrams best film. I won’t say do not go see it because it is worth seeing if you even like the Star Wars movies a little bit. If you love it you love it, I’m not going to say you are wrong for liking it, but it wasn’t great. Well, that’s all for now, other stuff to follow most likely Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday Thank you for reading, please subscribe, Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood. Ciao, Invisible Don PlayStation Gamer Tag: invisible don Invisible Don PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015 Send me Post Cards … I love Post Cards