For those of you who are new to the readership and for those of you who have been reading for awhile here is the updated whose who and what’s what that I refer to sometimes in my entries.
The Cast :
People and Places
ME, MYSELF & I
Invisibledon
C’est moi, me, myself and I, the one and only, the man the myth the legend in his own mind. AKA The King of the Bastards, Commander of the Invisible Army, the priest, Pope, Martha, Hey you, Machete, flea, goose, You’re not right, Deon, all around good guy and the main person in most of the entries.
Invisible Army –
The legions of the unseen, the minions of chaos, the reapers of havoc. Those who choose to serve at my behest and bidding. OK the IA is nothing to be feared they just occasionally play the silly games that I suggest each month which are by in like the harmless and not even pranks. However, the IA is not to be trifled with… yeah.
The invisible fortress
AKA the impenetrable domicile of doom – My digs, pad, place, dwelling, where I hang my hat, enclosed stuff keeper – my house. That’s right my house, this is my second house as evil person has the first one but that’s ok I like this one better.
FAMILY
Doodle – (one half of the dynamic duo)
Daughter and eldest child of invisible don and primary tormentor in the life of Stunt-boy. She is a Teen soon to be an 18 year and I can’t believe how quickly that time as been going: she is a smart kid, she is logical in most of her arguments which is more than I can say for most kids her age. I know there are things I don’t know about her and she is currently not speaking to me. She is living with the beta unit at the asylum.
Stunt-boy – (one half of the dynamic duo)
Son and youngest child of invisible don. He is a tween now younger than Doodle - all around fun kid and my PS2/3 buddy. Xbox master and Halo 3 killah… Nothing much bothers him at all and probably one of the politest kids in the world. Stunt-boy even says he is sorry when he upchucks - as if you need to say you are sorry when you are sick. You know you’re sick but he does.
The dynamic duo- Stunt boy and Doodle together
Rockhead
AKA: The yard cat, The late kitty No longer able to leap buildings or slay Aliens, not so smart kitty – she has gone to kitty heaven the dynamic duo and I miss her.
Mouse - Now the one of the pet cats of invisible don and the dynamic duo and former house romper pal of Rockhead.
Tony –The girl mouse a real mouse even… also in pet heaven we shall not discuss the demise of Toney
Seven – former DAS HUND, my dog, chaser of squirrels and barker of approaching cats, birds, and everything else but won’t bark at CPG when she walks into the yard. We’re working on that issue. We are not exactly sure what happened to her but she came up missing about a week after daisy I’m not sure what happened put up missing pet flyers which generated no response, even check the SPCA to no avail.
Daisy - former Siberian Husky of invisible don … rescued by Doodle and her posse of friend from an idiot who was going to shoot the dog. Someone stole her from the back yard while at work, I’m not sure what happened put up missing pet flyers which generated no response, even check the SPCA to no avail.
The Asylum – The home of the beta unit
The Parental Units - These are the biological life forms that are responsible for my being on the planet.
The Alpha unit - is the senior parental model. The model was recalled (ie he died) in July 2003. While we didn’t have the best relationship between parental unit and offspring he is missed and I’m glad that our last transactions together were free from static. I’m sorry that he is gone and still find it a bit odd that he is not around.
The Beta unit - has a new production date of the alpha unit model. Her primary functions seems to be seeing to her own needs and creating two other life forms which are my siblings, the function and purpose of the beta parental unit appears to be to systematically cause turmoil, strife, unpleasing feelings and also attempt to control everyone. However the beta unit has mellowed and things were getting better between us but her prime objective seems to have taken over all other functions and is now seeing to her own needs
The Asylum annex - The home of the Peacemaker
The Peace Maker – The second offspring of the parental units and self appointed diplomatic emissary to the parental units and the asylum. CPG’s brother from another mother. He still continues to have contact with CPG. He is the peace maker because he always tries to keep the peace with everyone but isn’t very good at keeping the peace and always takes the opposite opinion of the person he is trying to get to make peace with someone else. Famous Quote from the peace maker “I don’t care what the truth is, just except that you are wrong” He also gave me the name King of the Bastards.
M-squared –
former spouse of the peacemaker and former relay agent to CPG.- the last time she was seen was at the funeral of the alpha unit.
Rancho de Sade Home of the The Other one
The Other one –
The third offspring of the parental units. Generally a neutral observer in the on goings in our dysFUNctional family. The other one has found refuge at Rancho de Sade and in a life far away from the Asylum. The other one is from anyone back around the asylum who knows the three of us, my brothers and I, would always assume that any story I told about a brother was about the peacemaker. So I would say no the other one. Famous Quote of the other one “Dude my trip buddy left me can I sit here in your room” He has left those days behind him now.
Dice – Spouse of the otherone – she is cool, and has made the other one really happy about his life and put him in a good direction and now expecting the second child of the other one.
Mini-monster – the otherone and dice’s kid
Mini one - the other one and dice’s other kid
Dog – the former pet cat of Invisible Don - AKA psycho-kitty -- all around good guy cat and former morning shower inspector -- he would say yeah it's wet and then leave rather quickly. He now lives with CPG.
FRIENDS - people I know
Jonzo - worked with him once upon a time.
One blue Green - worked with her once upon a time
Buddha - she was married to Jonzo once upon a time
Former Smoking Buddy - worked with her once upon a time and now we listen to records from time to time at Pops
Brand A - Happy Hour Crew
H K - Happy Hour Crew
Jare - AKA Head Nod - Brand A’s man
Braff - Happy Hour Crew
The Hat - Happy Hour Crew - with Budda now
New York - didn’t work out - oddly it would have been fun to skate with her the rink below Top of the Rock
Steven the girl - used to talk some times say hi via e-mail now and then
Lacy - see her about once a year now
Alexis - once upon a time friend who still calls now and then but can’t any longer I keep secrets like no other person and if you ask I won’t tell you.
Rachel - first real pain
Hippy Chick - most recent heartbreak
More to come I’m sure but if you ask CPS I don’t have any friends
OTHERS who may be CREW
– Assorted miscreants that I hang out with or them with me. Work with or know by some random encounter … the names are changed to protect the guilty or the innocent however you would like to look at that glass. … these people include, The girl wonder, goofy guy, Skier gods/goddesses, buddies, military pals, the ACC, and Frat boys - No, the ACC does not refer to the college ACC – this would be Assorted Childhood Chums – the Real VI (village idiot) VI’s brother, Tweety, Lizard, skip, T, E-Z, etc.
Sir Arthur Guinness – His Holy of Holy and first maker of the very best in liquid refreshment GUINNESS STOUT
DIARYLAND PEOPLE I’VE MET - not that this matters much
Soverycherry She is really cool, and hung out with Jonzo and I at the CI once upon a time – I see her occasionally like once in a blue moon while I’m out – cool chic sums it up about her and now soon to be mom
lilsnowpixie She sat for the dynamic duo the summer before last – very nice person
Crnflkgirl
Steve the girl
Chubbychic She did the lay out for me I didn’t even have to ask she is the coolest person
Courtneymay AKA Chronic, former smoking pal, used to work here in the building but she moved away. Hopefully we’ll keep in touch and maybe go to some ACC football games with Jonzo in the Fall. Who’s House?
Nicole Price Texas- flew here good person to talk to about things
Firstthought Cool chic
IfIknew HDBLT – cool friend of Firstthought I met in NYC – saved her from many beers at McSoreley’s Ale House
amalthea23 almost met her while I was in NYC a while back but she was majorly ill so that didn’t happened but we talked on the phone
I’ll update this if I’ve forgotten anyone
WORK PLACES, WEHRE I LIVE & PLACES TO HANG OUT
The Sit Tay - number one work place of invisible don but mainly I can’t talk about my work because it’s classified.
The Museum – former number one work place of Invisible Don
The College – number two work place of Invisible Don – yeah I actually have a Master of Science degree – scary huh
Roanoke – The star city of the south, the big lick, the ‘Noke, The city in which I currently live. Hey I didn’t give the place all those names I’m just a transplant I moved here against my will and now I’m trapped here. Send help PUH-leeze.
LIMBO
The Golfing and Fishing Buddies – assorted mix of former friends of Invisible Don -- kinda like the planters assorted mix -- you'll get it in a minute -- there you go – They don’t hang out with invisible don anymore not really a bad thing but we still see each other in public places catch up with awkward hey how are you doing conversation and then won’t see one another for several months.
Pro baseball player – was a very good friend of Invisible Don - however his wife is a very good friend of CPG so PBBplayer and I don’t hang out at all anymore. He wussed out and didn’t stand up for being my friend – oh well
Mouth Breather – gives me mean looks when he sees me - not sure why I didn’t tell CPG to dump him
Others
CPG - Former spouse of invisible don. The Ex. . No the letters CPG aren’t her initials. I could give her a really mean and hateful name but she knows what she is I don’t need to label her. I could also say something really nasty, mean and ugly and all that but what good would that do really. Nope not getting any tattoos that say rot in pieces either.
Insane former brother in law (IFBIL)- The eldest sibling of CPG and is clinically diagnosed – refuses to take his medications because the doctors are trying to kill him with poisons. Used to Live in the apartment building next door to me but I moved. Happy Happy Joy Joy
DARia – Spy that visits the page she has an undisclosed relationship to CPG.
Stalkers – Extremely absent now but were several of CPG’s former boy toys have felt the need to follow me around from place to place. Look boys I’m not hanging out with her if she isn’t sleeping with you she sure as hell isn’t sleeping with me check the local meat market bars- you know the ones: Cornbeef and Company, Awful Arthur at Towers, and a few others. I’m sure you’ll find her there if she hasn’t already got her another catch and release from the penis stream.
EVIL
Current Supervisor - all I will say is that this person is Evil and being any where near this person makes me physically ill.
More to come I’m sure…
Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.
Ciao,
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