Bet you can't tell that I don't edit... you can really? I really knew you could because it mortifies me but I'm lazy

Seem that many of us spend so much time pondering things which ultimately do not really do anything to change how anything is going to be in the end. Perhaps it is just me, but given that there are so many of us on the planet and I don’t pretend to be the slightest bit original I’m going to guess that it isn’t just me. We want things that we can’t have and the main reason that we don’t have them is that we don’t really try to have them. Some might say this is having a fear of commitment or an unwillingness to put in the necessary work to achieve a desired goal. Recently lots of people have been asking me if I’m in a relationship, I say no which is only partially true. I’m not in a relationship but it is only partly true because all of us are always considering someone that we would like to be in a relationship with. Perhaps you are considering even more that one someone, that person or people may or may not know how you feel about them. You may not even want to ever tell them because you simply entertain the fantasy to fulfill a desire of your own and that in itself is all you need is the fantasy. Fantasy is healthy part of our well being I believe now acting on certain fantasies and end with tragic results. Like say you decide that certain famous person is the person for you and you try to move into their home or you follow them around everywhere…creepy stalker stuff. That isn’t what I’m talking about but there is that line between healthy and unhealthy. We all have our imagined discussions with real people as a way to deal with a problem or how to bring up a particular subject or problem that is bothering us. The discussions never really happen but you will ride the same emotional roller coaster while playing it out in your head. If you don’t think this happens, take a trip to a library, a Barnes and Noble or where ever you get your fiction and you’ll literally find cubic tons of proof that lots of people talk to themselves and have very “real” relationships with persons who may or may not be real. No writer is willing to risk a lawsuit and is not going to admit that a character is based on a real person but we do draw upon what we know or at least observe in the people around us so characters are based upon images and snippets of people but once they are set they are persons to that writer and have lives which they manipulate with their words. We do the same thing with real people where we have these dances of words which play out to achieve a specific result. How much of that actually occurs before it is ever uttered aloud. If you have an argument with a spouse or significant other, how many times have you had that same argument before have it in reality? Perhaps it is just me but I don’t think I’m all that special. Being a romantic, a side of my personality I wish I could smother to death and then burn the corpse and scatter the ashes to the winds, I have these thoughts all the time. However because of the SOFUCT/UFO/ OMGWWWTDTG/ WTFIHLAM I am not currently in a relationship. That and the invisibility thing it makes things a bit of challenge. However something I would like to try to do and encourage others to try is to have relationship based on the sole purpose to know a person like no other person but to never know that person in the flesh. Exchanges of photos are permitted as well as phone calls but arranging to meet in person shouldn’t ever happen. Can you fall in love with a person you only know from their words? You have to be willing to commit to the project and to write at least once a month to the person 12 letters a year. Discuss everything from religion to politics, write erotica about how that person inspires your innermost desires that in that person you see ...fill in the blank. For example a person I do not know whom I am only connected to via a social media and with whom I have had only very limited contact with at this time. I only know this person by what they have posted in the cyber world. She seem interesting, the likelihood that we ever meet is next to improbable on a scale of odd and equal to the population of the universe according the Hitchhikers Guide. The following is inspired by her information She sits alone many nights wishing that she were a bit less abrasive to those around her because she may actually be able to tell the person she likes that she likes them but she has been hurt before but not tragically. The harsh exterior keeps people at arms length so she can size them up before committing to letting them know things about herself. She has a few embarrassing secrets one being that she likes to watch soft core porn and would be willing to experiment with some bondage not because she is trending gREy but because she hurts on the inside and the external pain may release that mental baggage she knows she has carried for too long but it always seems to linger. She won’t trust any enough to open up that much because allowing herself to be that physically vulnerable isn’t something this is willing to risk because it means allowing that person in closer than they ever have been before. She is bawdy and crude to disarm the men so they see her as one of the “guys” or their buddy girl rather than a sensual girl. She doesn’t commit to the daily rituals of the “pretty girls” so her eyebrows are only plucked to avoid having them seem bushy, she doesn’t grow her nails long or know how the paint them but she would like to and the only make up she wears is to hide the occasional blemish and some mascara to make what she thinks are puny lashes at least seem existent. A tube of Burt’s Bees lip balm is the only thing she regularly applies to her lips but not to give them shimmer but because the smell of bees wax is stimulating. Some nights when she is lying alone a had a drink or two she will close her eyes and writhe under the cotton sheet with a decent thread count while she plays out how she would like to be loved. She lays there arms around a pillow wishing she were the one being held and drifts off to sleep still naked and will wake in the middle of the night both refreshed from her dreams but also hollow that she is alone and does not see that changing in the foreseeable years to come. She is a diamond in the rough not meaning that she just needs to wear better clothing or more make up but that one day she will look into the mirror and see the woman that has inspired a few braver men to endure her verbal onslaughts to try to get to know her for her and perhaps for the chance for something more. Maybe she will read this and decide to write to my PO Box… of even If you aren’t her and would like to play along with my experiment the address is as always below. However in fairness I may want to use the letters if I get enough or any for a book at some point … there is no working title. Oh and if you do decide to write please don’t if you are under 18 because this is out there in the cyber world I don’t always know who reads but I don’t need to be sending letters to anyone underage… the Lolita thing isn’t my bag In other news I scratched my eyeball somehow not exactly sure, and no I do not look like a pirate but I have been called one before should be all better soon. Yay Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy. Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood. Ciao, PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015