Cake and Death

So it would seem that I have this whole new super power thing…you apart from my SOFUCT thing and the pre cognition stuff, there is a new thing that I’ve had for awhile and only recently became aware of it when I was doing so reflection.

The reflection was following yet another addition of the never ending saga of oh hey yeah it’s ok to be around you when I don’t have to tell anyone else about you, dirty little secret adventures. It’s a real self esteem booster, like a JATO rocket.

But I ramble in the wrong direction the correct direction is the new super power. The super power isn’t really all that useful for me but it is rather handy if you are on the benefit side of the power.

It would seem that every person I have dated since the jones has following dating me started dating the perfect guy, gotten married or the long term committed equal to that institutional arrangement, or had a baby usually with the long term attachment.

I know you are thinking oh just like Good Luck Chuck… yes but there isn’t a Jessica Alba look a like who has a penguin obsession in the radar so no not like the good luck chuck thing and another interesting little twist.. you don’t even have to sleep with me for it to work… hell you don’t even have to touch me for it to work for you. Just go on a date.

Yeah, how is that for oh hey it was nice to meet you… oh no I don’t want to shake your hand that would be disgusting, you should probably get in your car before someone sees us together, k thanks bye

Now I realize that the SOFUCT thing is certainly limiting the number of yes votes I get in the whole hey would you like to do this or that thing. I’m work on the things I can change about the SOFUCT which is according to some is just UFO disorder.

The super power does not seem to have any effect if you are just my friend so casually talking to me will do you no good, you actually have to break down and commit to a date.
I know that is really a big step.

If I could get testimonials from the passes participants in the hey yeah I dated invisible don and then I met insert name of the guy and we’re so happy things could not be any better …yea

I think it may have something to do with naming my next kid Punk Ass Muther Fucker or the SOFUCT thing I don’t know really it is a toss up. But as I’ve been fixed it is probably the SOFUCT thing because unless the people going out with me are blog readers they don’t know about the Punk Ass thing any way. That is on second date discussion cards …yeah you don’t even need to go on a second date.

Yeah I know right WOW …wow indeed.

Not that I’m not utterly happy for each and every person who has dated me and moved on and found what they are looking for in the relationship world. I am, I know that shit is hard enough without bitter exes calling and fucking things up all the time.

True be told all of them have ended on good terms and I even get invited to weddings. Which does make for interesting overheard conversations and lots of looks when they ask the question does anyone here object to this union… I swear to Bob if one more person looks at me when they ask that question I’m going to ask the minister, Could you define objection

Probably not a good way to make it out of a wedding alive and who doesn’t want to be beaten to death by a well dressed mob … hey at least there is cake


In other news

Why does the guy from train want a garbage bag to put his love in?




Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,





PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Oo...Oo...Oo... tell me what you... Oo... Oo... Oo... yeah, yeah, yeah...

Funny, how things sort of fall off the priority list be it something real or just something you thought was cool once upon a time.

Like American Idol … ah who am I kidding I watched that crap because the girl I was dating at the time was into it. I got into it while I was watching but I wasn’t really upset if it was missed you know.

No this isn’t going to be a rant about exes. I talk to most of my exes, well all but one. And well she wishes I was dead but like they say if wishes was candy and nuts oh what a Christmas it would be.

But we do fall out of doing things that when we started seemed to be really uber important

There are hundreds of these things probably lying around your abode just waiting to be rediscovered.

Like that time you thought you would take up that… (musical instrument of yours) and you were all serious about it for oh about a minute and a half in the scheme of things ok you can play mary had a little lamb and you are going to be back to it at some point.

Ok me too … no seriously … I am serious… WTF dude (dudette) why you gotta be haters?

More later

In other news…

One week until the doodle is a HS Grad …YAY for Doodle oh if you aren’t a long time reader it is short for doodle bug

That’s all for now other stuff tomorrow, have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Mr. Spock to the bridge...

Thinking today, a bit too much, cleaning and thinking, shopping and thinking, sitting and thinking, thinking and thinking about the thinking.

The thing that had me stuck lately is that how can some people have no sense of logic.

I mean I do stupid stuff and I stop it

If someone says there is a logical explanation for this or that, then I’m ok, yeah I see. Moving forward.

What if you can’t move forward not because of anything you are doing?

Time to move.

Logical. I know what to do. So do it. Complicated not impossible but complicated.

All the choices I make right now come back around to a few key immovable points.

How high can the tide of insanity and illogical, petty posturing get before it all falls down.

I’m not sure, we’ll see. The lack of solidarity also has me troubled.

In other news… I’m not the happiest boy in the world

(say it again in a 5 year old falsetto…do it)

The happiest boy in world

See it sound happily sarcastic that way. Yeah I’m not that guy.

I am a glass is half full kind of person … sometimes the glass if half full of poison but it’s only half full

A box of crap wrapped up in Christmas paper is still a box full of crap even if looks good on the outside.

I am partly cloudy, I look into the dark sometimes and like what I see there, it’s a lot more honest than the painted on happy, happy, joy, joy faces people put on. No I do not mean anyone specifically I’m making generalizations, which are bad you should just give specifics.

I do write about the things that bother me more than I write about the things I’m happy about because I need to get the stuff that bothers me out of my head I like the happy stuff in there. It helps me to keep the really dark stuff suppressed… well they only bothers me in my dreams most of the time.

So I dump it out here so I can move on … I know sorry, I’ll try to mix it up a bit more

On the sunny side of things Plan 2 started and it’s yummy. I even got an omen that it was time to start plan 2. I know I would share but that spoils it…. Spoils it.

Plan 2 will have some sub parts and will even bleed into plan 3 and there will be more details later but just not right now.

Plan one in case you haven’t been following is completed. If you are lost so am it’s ok. Stop and ask for directions at the nearest cerebral sign posts. If they tell you to head to the place with the creates and a corridor you should avoid that area. That is wear the demons hide.

Other stuff tomorrow, you can decide if it’s better. GI JOE in 6 days. yupyup



Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Charlie Alpha Tango Sierra ... it does make sense

The two animal room-mates I have are completely different. I did not pick either of the animals. They live with me though and I remain their favorite Bi-pedal mammal in their Quadra-pedal world.

Yes like all pets they think they own your home. Before you poosha my statement, Let us think about this for a minute.

(thinking pose- hand on chin, staring into the air on the left side, lips pursed)

You clean up their defecate, feed them daily, they make no money, you entertain them on their demand, if they don’t want to be bothered with you at the moment you can’t find them, they can keep you up with their antics and I could go on but I feel I’ve made my point. From their perspective you work for them.

They are the master and you are the worker bee.

Little do they know while I love them as pets that is what they are they are animals. They are lower on the food chain, they are lower on the evolutionary scale, while they are unique in the behaviors they do not have human characteristics, but I’m going to talk about them like they do. I’m going to call them roommates when they really are not. Now if you are a pet owner, I know PETA and other animal rights groups say the is a demeaning term, … ok I lost that point but found that new one, about pet owner being demeaning.

To whom is it demeaning? My cats, the last time I checked they don’t speak English. They don’t speak any human dialect for that matter. It’s a term some humans have said is demeaning when used to describe animals who live with humans to other humans who have placed animals on a rung equal to or higher than humans. I’m not one of those people. I treat my pets well and I give them a decent amount of my attention. They deserve not to be treated badly by me or other people but they aren’t human. That is enough they are pets.

So with that if you hate me for anything I have said so far well stand in line you aren’t the only one who hates me. Well you don’t get to be king of the bastards by not stepping on toes. All hail the king. I have bumper stickers that proclaim my regal status … do you?

Yup that’s what I thought

Back to the cats.

My cats are Mouse and Wilson. Doodle brought Mouse home. Saying, Daddy, I found this kitten on the street, she was all alone and needs a home can we keep her. (insert sad pouted lip child face) I knew this was a lie then because I looked in the cats ears which were clean. Cats that aren’t even just sort of taken care of have dirty ears. However I decided to pretend to believe the lie and say yes we can keep the kitten. Yeah I’m that dad on some things.

Mouse has remained pretty small and is bi-polar. Well not really but I say she is because she does the run to where you are when you come home and does the love me love me dance near your feet.

Love me love me. (figure 8 walking and rubbing on things)

When any one reaches for her she runs off

Don’t love me

And then she comes back

Love me, love me

Reach

Don’t love me

Bi-polar

With that however, Mouse will usually be where she can see you but you can’t see her. Unless the beta unit is here and she hides because the beta unit brings it’s dog which tries to kill Mouse. No seriously.

Her dog bites Mouse around the neck and you have to pull it off of the cat.. That isn’t saying hey lets be friends and play. That is saying I’m going to kill you if they bi-peds would only give me the chance.

Wilson is a recent addition. A gift if you will which was the result of, Hey I’m moving and I can’t take this cat with me will you take him. (insert batting eyes and pouted lip)

The story is more complicated than that but I’ll just leave it at this and I said yes. Yes Wilson belonged to a woman before me.

Wilson is cool, with that Mouse is cool too despite her bi-polar thing.

Wilson is a watcher cat though. Unless he is sleeping, he has to be within 5 feet of the action.

For example, he sits in a chair in my kitchen while I cook. Seriously, right up in the chair right in the middle and watches. I think part of this is his nature and most domesticated animals that food may result from and in the act of being close to the humans. The also think that if I look cute a lot too and that will help in the getting of the food.

As I don’t eat the meat things he doesn’t like what I eat mostly and I’m not one to feed the pets human food.

Wilson watches in amazement in the kitchen though. I imagine his thoughts are wow this stuff actually has uses. I’ve lived in a couple other places and no one used this stuff. It just was there, who knew you can get food from using the stuff in a kitchen. Yes his previous owner is not a person who cooks often. In fairness she is not the only person here who doesn’t cook. If you are a woman from Roanoke or the surrounding area and not a transplant from somewhere else and live here now, you don’t cook. It’s not that women from here can’t cook they just don’t.

I’m not sure why, but if you meet a woman who says she is from Roanoke she isn’t going to cook. As a result Roanoke has more restaurants per capita than any other city in Virginia. It also has the highest divorce rate in the state too. I’m not sure the two things are related, they could be though.

Back to the cats and away from broad generalizations.

So I have the two cats. Which I’m not sure how Wilson will handle the beta units dog. They haven’t met and Wilson is much bigger than Mouse. Like over twice the size and he is not a fat cat. Mouse is just that small. Why do you think we named her Mouse. Well yes it’s ironic too.

I’m also not really sure Mouse is actually a cat. She doesn’t do normal cat things most of the time and while she looks like a cat she doesn’t really look like a cat. I think she might be an alie-um kitty. (yes Ay-lee -UM for alien)

I did have two dogs who have been missing and I think were stolen.

So it was definitely different stuff, maybe it was better stuff.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,