Who me? I'm not him

So I took the arch angel quiz thing the other day and was told by the test thing that I was most like the arch angel of light, Lucifer. Well what do those test things really know about us anyway right?

Well it would seem a lot more than we may think.

Seems that somewhere in christendom there is the phrase, lead us not into temptation.

Well that, as of late, is part or my life functions.

Anyone who has given up some vice all of a sudden is coming to me like I'm their connection. Smoking, drinking, eating, vows, et al.

You need your fixx come on over to invisible don's place he'll hook you up.

I won't get into all the details of it all but it's all very strange to say the least.

I'll be changing my phone number to, 666-6666 soon so I'll be easier to reach

Hey

I got nothing to say ... well that isn't true but I just thought you would like to read these lyrics and since most of you who read here are ubercool anyway you probably already know the song and would rather hear about the girl I like or something more interesting.
too bad not today but the song relates to all that anyway so it might make a good intro to that huh

"Hey" by the pixies
video by tasha
Lyrics by the pixies

hey
been trying to meet you
hey
must be a devil between us
or whores in my head
whores at my door
whores in my bed
but hey
where have you
been
if you go i will surely die
we're chained
uh
said the man to the lady
uh
said the lady to the man she adored
and the whores like a choir
go uh
all night
and mary ain't you tired of this
uh
is the sound that the mother makes when the baby breaks
we're chained


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_CSo1gOd48

Welcome to the handbasket, next stop hell

Pop culture is really fucking stupid, yes I know that really goes without saying but the buzz words that seem to fill this realm are getting out of hand.

The latest in this is extremely long line of these inane are becoming more and more completely beyond my understanding.
"the baby bump" god typing it is almost too revolting
And if I hear or see one more head line about Angelina Jolie's pregnancy I think I'm going to fucking barf.

I'm done and I'm reminded again why I don't watch a lot of TV - I'm off to read a book.

Did this right before lunch because I didnt' have time to do something else

Q: WHAT WERE YOU D0ING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT?
A: I was killing river pirates on SOCOM3 and kicking ass too I might add.

Q: WHATS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE ON YOUR CELL PHONE SAY
A: It just ended

Q: WHOSE BED DID YOU SLEEP IN LAST NIGHT?
A: Mine

Q: WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A: sky blue or periwinkle

Q: MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED?
A: The Barber

Q: NAME 2 THINGS THAT YOU HAVE ON YOU AT ALL TIMES?
A: silver earrings in my left ear

Q: WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEETS?
A: a dusty green color

Q: HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW?
A: 15 or so I'm not looking

Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THE CHICKEN?
A: The egg I quess I don't eat them much either but I don't eat chicken

Q: WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE TOWN/CITY?
A: Rio

Q: YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO WHAT?
A: I'm not sure

Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
A: last week

Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR DAD?
A: about a week or so before he died three years ago

Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TALKED TO THEM?
A: Sunday

Q: WHO GOT YOU TO JOIN MYSPACE?
A: a few people on other blog site moved over here so I followed ... yeah I'm just part of the herd.

Q: WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
A: Tofu

Q: IS TOM ON YOUR FRIEND LIST?
A: I think so hey a guy comes up with it he deserves props

Q: LOOK TO YOUR LEFT, WHAT'S THERE?
A: phone and files

Q: WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED?
A: t-shirt from the other one at my grandmothers funeral

Q: WHAT WEBSITE DO YOU VISIT MOST DURING THE DAY?
A: myspace

Q: DO YOU HAVE PLANTS IN YOUR ROOM?
A: in my room no in my house yes

Q: DOES ANYTHING HURT ON YOUR BODY RIGHT NOW?
A: yes, my head (I have a headache), my left eye - I'm not sure why , my right thumb(I cut it the other day and burned it last night on a match) my right knee (years of skiing and rugby) and my right leg (burned it a few days ago against an oil heater.

Q: WHAT CITY WAS YOUR LAST TAXI RIDE IN?
A: New York City about a year ago

Q: DO YOU OWN A PICTURE PHONE?
A: yes

Q: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE STARBUCKS DRINK?
A: Cafe Latte (large)

Q: WHEN WERE YOU LAST REALLY UPSET?
A: a few days ago

Q: WOULD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IF YOUR FRIEND DATED YOUR EX?
A: Yeah because I don't like my ex very much and she really hates me so that would mean my friend and I would have to stop hanging out not because I would be all that upset that they were dating I just wouldn't want to be around when they were together - I would be very tempted to say rude things

Q: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF SOMEONE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE?
A: Well the last person to hit me in the face was my ex wife and she broke my nose, I didn't do anything but say you broke my nose and tried to keep blood from going all over my shirt.

Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
A: Peanut butter cap't crunch - but I only get it once a year so its way special when I do

Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV CHANNEL?
A: IFC or Sundance

Q: IF YOU COULD MEET ANY ONE DEAD PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
A: Wow out of all the really cool dead people ever? too many to even just pick one. I'd like to see if either Helen of Troy or Cleopatra were really worth the wars that are attributed to them.

Q: DO YOU LIKE TO DRINK MILK?
A: Not really but I do sometimes drink it

Davis Wins, Sour grapes for Hedrick

The Fourth Estate (the press) never ceases to amaze me in their never ending quest to find turmoil in the everything. Conspirators will argue that this is merely a tool of those in power to keep those without power fighting about trivial things rather than focusing on the real issues that if were given the time to focus on the real issues would lead to revolution. Individual dreams are the real issues though, The Fourth Estate, fuels them and squashes them daily.
To me individual dreams are best realized by the individual and perverted by the press. Take the Olympics, year after year we hear praise for this person or that person and their desire to win gold. Most of the games held in the Olympics (summer and winter) are individual events and you win or lose by your own effort. While the Olympians themselves may be part of a “team” and I quote this to make the point, it really isn’t a team quest in most events. The athletes march in under the banners of nations but compete as individual for the most part except in the few team events.
However, isn’t the Olympic spirit more about the effort to do your best in the sport for sports sake. The true drama which is competition. The banners of Nations are just that political lines drawn on maps which in the last two decades have changed so drastically globes are hard to sell, because they are likely to be inaccurate in a year. Those persons who represent the political end of those banners can’t even sit in the same room with each other most of the time. Yet every four years (two now) one form of Olympics(summer or winter) is held and the citizens of nations rally to compete not for political gain, but for the love of a sport or competition. And they do so for the most part in relative harmony.
Athletes may say things which seem patriotic but is patriotism what gets them out of bed to train every day. To practice, alone, when they are sick or tired or sore. No it’s individual desire to achieve. It’s the love individual achievement in the event which makes them great at what they do. A voice, desire, push, or something inside the self that makes him or her commit to activities which for most have no pay off other than self reward.
Would the athletes in the Olympics compete without the banners of nations, I think they would. Which brings me to the point about which has had me pondering . The bad mouthing of Speed Skater Shani Davis from Chad Hedrick and others in the US Olympic contingency and our press.
The press is just trying to sell advertising time and keep viewers in front of the TV to watch the 30 second blocks of time they have sold to merchandisers first and cover the event second. I know this about the press so I’m not really so surprised they are fueling the dispute between Shani and Chad just like they have with Apollo and Ahn, or being critical of Bode Millers less than gold achievements thus far or Jacobellis with her fall at the end of her snow cross event which sent her from gold to silver.
But it’s fair to ask, What is Chad really upset about? That the US didn’t win in the one team event in speed skating or that he himself won’t get the individual fame in a number of medals or to be less critical of him to achieve his dream of 5 gold medals. And to be less fair winning himself regardless the cost to another athlete namely Davis.
The U.S. coaches must not have really banked on the pursuit gold as being a real possibility or they would have built a team around their so call golden boy Chad and had this team set long before the games started instead of waiting a week before the games to approach Shani Davis, a skater named to the US team with both long and short track experience, to fill in and who did put team first over individual dreams in 2002 to watch the games and not compete in a sport he loves. It may even be reflective of other things too that the US Olympic team coaches have favorites and were willing to use Davis to push Chad forward toward the 5 gold goal and to hinder Davis, in the 1000 metre race which was to be one of the 5 gold medals for Chad.
Shani is a true athlete and dedicated to doing his best in his sport. This is testified to by his effort not in some posh rink but in the inner city of Chicago. That says more to me about him, his love of the sport and desire to achieve. Training and competing while facing questions about why wasn’t he in some other sport not only from coaches at first but from his peers as well. In the same spirit Davis is questioned about is stoic approach when Apollo Anton Ono is praised for his individual effort and monastic life style by living solely dedicated to his sport in the Olympic village in Colorado Springs, which is what Davis does, living dedicated to his sport, just not in Colorado. And what about all the other athletes too mostly again in individual events who do the same thing.
So for Chad, I think it’s more a case of sour grapes, because he can’t live part of his dream but could care less what it means to someone else and their dream of achievement.
Chad owes his teammate an apology but so do the announcers for the Olympics even more so owe Shani Davis an apology rather than praising his victory like they have done for everyone else. They immediately focus on the lost medal in the pursuit event and an upset Chad Hedrick. And not to pick specifically on Melissa Stark, who, when questioning Shani Davis on the ice after he won the gold, asked first about the pursuit event and Chad Hedrick rather then the 1000 metre event which he just won. Then asked not about what he felt about winning but rather how it felt about being the first African American Athlete to win an individual gold in the Winter Games. When his answers were short she took visible offense to his lack of response and made faces. But the clue was their for her in her question it was an individual gold, and her first question should have been, How does it feel to you to win Olympic Gold? They ask that to most every other athlete first then focus in on all the other things they want to ask, Why not for Shani?
Where are these questions when other athletes from our country knock other athletes from our country from medal contention as happens in every event in the Olympic Games. The athletes compete not for nations but as individuals first, as national figures second. Other athletes are asked how they fell about the event that they have just been in and how they feel about their efforts in the event that has just happened. Why is Shani different?
For some reason though, the keep to himself attitude of Shani Davis, which is no different from most of the other athletes, seems to have sparked the ire of the press and Chad Hedrick for sure.
So from one human being to another I would like to say congratulations to Shani Davis for living his dream and will admit that in writing this I’m not trying to right some wrong as my primary motive but to live something that is my dream to write. While I’m not the best at this I practice and can take a lesson or two from Mr. Davis and Mr. Hedrick from this as well. From Mr. Hedrick that it’s better to focus on what you can control rather than what you can’t , and by this I mean that sometimes I don’t write because I don’t want to risk what others may say about what I write but whose fault is that theirs or mine. It’s mine, and while Chad may not have won the pursuit gold it’s no more Shani’s fault than it is a 1000 other things.
I did notice that Shani seems happy about winning his 1000 metre gold despite all the murmurings about other things going on because as the results went up he realized his dream and inside himself felt what I can only imagine relate to a sense of completion and accomplishment. I have some sense of that feeling having won first place in a giant slalom race against other skiers who were favored to win. Not in the Olympics but in a sanctioned ski race. I did get to stand a top the podium and in that outcome heard the bickering from other racers who thought they were better than me, just not that day. Everything seemed to just click that day in the race course from the start gate right on down to the finish. Despite it all I look at the trophy and remember feeling happy and not so much the other stuff.
And finally the lesson from Mr. Davis, that it takes courage to live your dreams and sometimes when you do the thing you want their will be other people who won’t be happy regardless but you can really only make yourself happy at the end of the day and that’s all that really matters in the days to come and you reflect back on your life

Got Crack?

While I'm a vegetarian my children aren't, I'm not making them be something they don't want to be.
Anyway that isn't the point in all of this, the point is that yesterday I fixed a roast for them;
a big roast, taters, carrots onions, mushrooms garlic etc.
I did a pan for me too which had big portabella mushrooms in it for me. yummy by the way.
Well I have two rather large dogs - a German Shepard (seven) and a Siberian husky (kitty)
They were going absoFUCKinglutly bonkers by the time the roast was done.
They looked at me like dude where is the meat man give us some NOW! wag wag wag wag the tails come on man we need a fix. Their eyes were all glazed over.
So the helpful hint is that if you have big dogs don't cook a roast unless you want them to be geeking like crack heads at the end of the day. And yes I did give them some too, and of course they love me, cause I'm cool like that.

This was fun

In honor of valentines day here is a fun little activity

Copy and paste the URL address and play it was a lot of fun

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/351125274

Have fun

HELP WANTED: Humans need not apply, Robots only.

I used to wonder why anyone would ever want to have a robot for an employee.
Now I know why. Robots do what they are told and only what they are told. They don't get curious unless you program them to be curious, they just do what they are told.
If it doesn't do what it's told to do
It's broken and you fix it or get a new one.
Humans however don't do what they are told
They do what the hell ever they feel like
And I'm no different but if I have to fix my problems I know I did it and will say hey you know what? That's my bad let me fix that and if the button says don't push me
I don't push the freaking button.
I may want to push the button
I may even wonder what would happen when you push the button
But I don't let my desire to push the button control my destiny
There is a reason you don't push the button and you know you don't even need to know why you don't push the button.
Like in my job there is a machine that you don't walk up to and push 1 then enter from the main screen.
Why because it shuts down the whole building.
Not exactly a smart thing to put on a machine but hey I don't push 1 enter from the main screen.
WHY?
Because I'm not supposed to do that, that's why.
So if you are reading this and you make robots, hurry up and make them affordable and soon
I need a dozen.

My cousin on the Superbowl... again

Well my cousin was on during the superbowl again.
He was on several years ago in a Toyota ad and now for his new ABC show, "Sons and Daughters" which will air on March 7th.
So watch if you can.

Oh, the joys of parenting.

So a week or so ago my daughter calls me, I can tell it's her because her phone rings distinctive from other phone calls. I glance at the time, it's about the time she would be getting out of school.
I answer expecting her to say something like hey can I go to your house instead of mom's. Instead right after I say, Hello.
She says, "What's the sentence for a class one misdemeanor?"
Well the Hello, quickly becomes HELL NO in my head. But I manage to keep it together and ask the best possible question, Why?
"Just because." she says indifferently.
"are you in trouble?"
No
Are you planning on getting into trouble?
No
Why do you need to know this information
Someone I know hit there Mom
You didn't hit your Mom, did you? I tried not to sound hopeful.
I well it really depends on some things but it could be some jail time to probation or both. Where are you?
At Mom's
OK are you sure you aren't planning on hitting her?
Yes Dad, OK thanks for the info love you bye
Bye

It's only in my head

And it’s one more day living in my life. My absence from writing is one of both time and introspection. Trying to figure things out. Things were easier in the drink and not thing phase. More expensive but less complicated. I didn’t ponder things as much, just pour the bourbon in the glass barkeep and keep ’em coming until you think I need to call a cab.

I’ve been stuck in my thoughts about my past. I’ve forced myself to walk to the edge to get as close as I dare to the darkness and then to see if I could step once more. I know I could except for one thing, well two actually. I can’t leave them with the same sleepless nights and constant wondering and assigning blame to myself.

I wonder what it would take though, what would have to happen to push that beyond that limit. I can hear her calling from across the void. All that we don’t know about that crossing. And it’s one more day and it’s been so long .

So I walk in between living and dying.
And I poured another bourbon in the glass
It won’t hurt as much if I can’t feel it.