I'm only pretty sure

Ever notice how your current situation, mood, etc makes you more keenly aware of those in the same situation or the exact opposite of your situation.

Sort of Karma's way of saying see you are not alone or to rub your nose in it. See it is just you that can't seem to get it together.

coffee is really good no matter where I am on the slide rule, odd but not really.

I'm only pretty sure ... it's like a knife in my soul. Not the coffee bit something else. No don't run and call anyone. I'm fine sitting here but as I explore things I wonder ...

Then there are the words of truth that I'm hearing and while I'm not physically hurt the stabbing is there. A metaphysical knife, and I'm not sure if that is the correct way to say it, but it feels real so there for it must be real on some level even if I can't see it. Having been stabbed I know what it actually feels like to have the blade enter my body. It doesn't feel like anything that is the odd bit. It goes in and then you look and see oh snap there is a what ever in me that wasn't there before. The removal and the wound are what hurt. That lingers longer than you would think possible.

The point is even if I'm using the wrong word is that I know I don't have any injury that will kill me but it feels like it and if my physical body had the scars of all the things I feel. No one would look at me.