Public Service Announcement

Welcome to the United States of the Afflicted

We welcome you and advise that the only accepted mood here is joyful (insert head tilt pause)

(smile largely straighten head)

If your current mood is something other than joyful please select from the following options
A – move away we don’t want you in our land of denial and deluded society
B – Please feel free to take handfuls of any psychotropic mood elevator to which you will become ruefully dependent but you will remain joyful
C- You may also steal, purchase illegally, lie to physicians to obtain mood elevating medication or pain relieving medication. It’s OK with us as long as your mood doesn’t have a negative impact on the happy joy, joy, time everyone is having.
D- repress your non joy, joy emotions and turn them into some other problem you can also ignore.
E- suicide – please try to do this away from others as not to disturb the happy joy joy mood of everyone and a note explaining that it’s your own pathetic fault and not anyone else’s that you ended your non-joyful life.

So now that we have covered what moods are acceptable and how to effective cope with not acceptable ones let’s move on to greetings (Insert large smile and pause for 29 seconds without saying a word)

Hello is fine in most every occasion including answering the phone. You may insert well wishes to your caller or face to face conversation partner as you deem appropriate for the occasion.

Variations of Hello are also acceptable a few examples are … (turn point to video feed of various persons smiling delivering greetings smile while the video plays and do not look at the video but stare blankly into the camera so the view may see your smile)

HI!
Hey!
Hello, I hope you are having as great a day as I am having.
How are ya!
(smiling headpull back and two index finger point)
Yo!
Sup!

These are but a few of many greeting you may use in person or on the phone and are likely to encounter here in the United States of the Afflicted.

If asked about your well being, as in How are you today?

You may only respond in a positive manner.

Fine,
Ok,
Great, and many others.

The better the level of your well being makes for a better answer.

This ends this public service announcement this is one in a continuing series of helpful announcements for your health, happiness and well being. (Insert Smile) There will be more of these public services announcement made concerning how to enjoy life here in the United States of the Afflicted. Have a Super fantastic day I know I will.!



Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,