8008

8008

Warning this issue may contain language of a frank and graphic nature which may conjure images which inspire thoughts that may be inappropriate for some readers. There are no images included in the text. Read on at your own risk.

Something I have noticed over the years is women.

Really, invisible don you’ve noticed women?

I have odd as that may sound to some. I even like them, well most of them.

Not the point.

One thing I’ve noticed about women is that they enjoy looking at themselves as much as they like getting noticed. Provided you aren’t a creeper.

Being a creeper largely depends on what you look like and your environment. In one place you may be a creeper and then in another not so much. For example, the worse the surroundings the uglier you can be without being a creeper. This is not the point, it maybe in a later issue.

Over the years however something I’ve keened in on is that when women change their appearance they certainly like it if you notice, again refer above to the creeper clause. You are allowed to notice if you are a creeper you just aren’t allowed to comment or stare.

However the particular change I’m talking about today is new boobs. Not that they are new, new. So much as they are improvements on the existing ones, which is a mouthful to say so they are simply called new boobs. There are a few rules you should know about new boobs.

One. Women will normally tell as many people as they can that they are getting new boobs. I’m not sure I understand this logic but I think it is more so that when the booby fairy arrives and then they pop into work the next time there isn’t a lot of OMG! You got new boobs being announced loudly to everyone around.

This is because women will say, OMG! You got new (insert what ever is new) and then talk endlessly about it.

This forewarning may also be to keep the creeper staring to a minimum. Hmm maybe the issues are related.

Two. Women want to show as many other people, mainly other women, the new boobs as possible.

They will scurry off to a bath room, bedroom or other not in full view of everyone else, then lift their shirts, sweater, disrobe in some manner and show the new ones to nearly any other woman. There are girl creepers too so just because you are of the same gender doesn’t mean you get a back stage pass automatically.

Some guys will be allowed into this show room as well. Gay guys first, then non creepers if their wives or girlfriends approve and are also present these two go together… always. Single straight guys mostly are not on the list. Well not for the unveilings other times are not …well … that isn’t the topic.

Three. In the show room, there will be touching even if you aren’t ready for it. Well mainly if you are a woman. Now that said, I witnessed women with new boobs grab someone else’s hand and place it on their boob. While saying, FEEL IT. Then nod their heads repeatedly, smiling all the while and say, Nice huh… or something to that effect.

Some of you women will deny this occurs but you know it’s true because you have felt up a girl or two with the new boobs willingly or unwillingly.

Four. This is where things turn ugly. The sisterly love ends the further you are removed from the person with the fake boobs. Yeah it’s already there your friend has new boobs, that ‘slut’ or other not so nice name, in the office down the hall has fake ones.

The new ones are fake as well but if they belong to a friend then they get special status it is all in the closeness of the relationship of the two women. If you are a guy and you don’t think rule four matters for guys. All I can say is wrong, wrong, wrong.

This is because you may be asked what you think about this person’s appearance. This is akin to finding a bear trap in the woods. You want it to catch bear not you. Now hopefully you can avoid this and you have no worries. Rule one helps you to know when to make yourself unavailable for comment.

However if you do get caught in the question, you have to know how close a friend is the person asking to the person with the augmentations. If they aren’t friends then it’s safe to say you think it’s a bad idea, however you may never say they look good.

If the two ladies get along it’s better to say I didn’t notice. You may never say they look good.

If they are good friends, you probably should fake an appointment, feign an injury, bite your tongue, stab yourself with a pen… something, anything to avoid answering this question. You many never say they look good.

If the girl with the new boobs asks you must say they look good but look at her face not the new boobs. I know this is difficult it can be done. However don’t get your hopes up guys because in truth the question will be asked in front of you more times than you are asked to look or touch. Our opinion on the matter isn’t really important to women so they don’t asked our opinion about this sort of thing most of the time.

Five. When women talk about boobs they tend to touch their own. Don’t pay attention to this you’ll get caught and then get slapped. If you forget this rule, I’m sorry but I did warn you.

Now you may be asking, why all of the sudden talk about boobs. Well recently someone I know got new boobs. I didn’t think she needed them (see above). I found out because of rule one. Tell as many girls as you can. These girls will in turn tell lots of people. Followed by don’t tell anyone. Ok if you are a guy don’t tell anyone because if you do you will never hear about such a thing ever again. EVER.

I know the person getting the new boobs pretty well and after hearing the news felt sure that the girl would tell me herself. Mainly because I sometimes lack that part of the brain that says maybe you shouldn’t say that out loud. And I’ll be the one saying OMG you got new BOOBS.

Sure enough the next day I hear it directly from the source

Her: Hey guess what

Me: What

Her: I’m getting new boobs.

Me: Yay. And say you look fine now.

Her: Thanks but I want them.

There was other conversation but not about boobs or other bits either.

Well some time later after the surgery I’m talking with the rule one person (the one with out the new boobs)

We are discussing how they will look as neither of us has seen them. I’m trying not to think about it because… well… I’m just trying not to think about it. Then it comes up that she’ll probably show them off. To which the friend says, I’m not sure I want to see them.

Then me being devil’s advocate I say, what if she asks you to touch them.

Then my friend says, well yeah, I’ll touch them.

Then I say, Wait, what? You don’t want to see them but you are willing to feel her up?

Which gets the raised eyebrows, No, Not like that and then she waves her hand at me.

The hand wave is important when talking about touchy subjects, for you guys if you don’t know this means it’s time to change the subject the conversation about this one is over.

Six. New boobs aren’t the only reason women will compare body parts. You will not be invited to most of these things guys. If you pay attention you’ll just see that it is happening all around you. No, you won’t be asked to join in at some point either. You are watching too much porn if you think it does.


In other news…

There isn’t really anything I can say here that is going to matter at this point.

That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




listening to: Something or other on the TV

Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

WTF Wednesday #2

WTF Wednesday # 2

So as you may or may not have read in a past entry about my computer woes of late, my computer died. Alas it is a sad thing indeed, but it also is a WTF thing on several levels. The first is that these things are built worse than the first little piggy’s house of straw or at least that has been my experience with them. I have had 5 computers die on me in the last 8 years. I know WTF!!!

My bad karma can only do so much but I’m willing to chalk some of them up to this not all of them. Build them better it is pretty freaking simple concept.

Secondly and the bigger WTF is the whole programming changes and things not being compatible from version to version.

Seriously people you might just be to smart for your own good on this one. You are not reinventing the wheel with most of these programs and the updates performed.

So why the hell do document programs from one version to the next find it so impossible to read older versions? I’m not kidding this is completely stupid.

What is so dramatically different from the very first document creating programs to the current versions of them? I can’t get the computer to write papers for me. Even if they could write them is it necessary to make it impossible to read the saved files?

It’s call backward compatibility in the industry but that means that people don’t need to buy the new program if the old one does the same thing. So it is really about making money and screwing over the consumer.

If you argue it is more about intellectual property. Sure from one software maker to another. Sure there will be some differences. However from one writer to another the programs are essentially doing the same thing and this practice exclusivity is more about limiting consumer choice than it is about protecting intellectual property.

It’s not just with document producing programs. The industry does very little to insure backward compatibility and preserving the customers information from one version to the next regardless of the program.

This practice is rampant within every industry. However, when it comes to information this practice is even more dangerous and will ultimately lead to what I’m calling an intellectual ice age or stagnation.

We loose so much information every time an advance is made in the creation, storage and recovery of that information.

We loose information every time there is a glitch, hiccough or SNAFU / FUBAR moment within a server, network, mainframe or other grouping of computers.

Example in my work, yup that place I can’t talk about, there was an “event” with the computers at some point in the recent past. I can’t be more specific than that. This ‘event’ was experienced by every office doing my work. An @$$ load would be the technical term. This ‘event’ directly impacted ten of my cases that I know about. Now in my office if every person who does my work had ten cases impacted that would be 100 cases. Then times that by and @$$load. The information is gone.

So no matter what a computer guru tells you that information is still in there. Not so much and it’s not retrievable. All gone.

Our knowledge base can and will ultimately suffer a similar fate at some point if we don’t take precautions to fight against this and focus on preserving the information rather than just making a dollar.

Every step we blindly take forward via technology has the opposite effect of sending us backward many more steps backward leaving us with less knowledge.

In other news

Saw the movie Red. It was really good. If you haven’t seen it you should.

Gonna go kill some MAG avatars now.

That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




Listening to: News

Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Silent all these...days, sorry Tori, I'm gonna borrow that first bit

Well I had much different plans for the weekend than what actually happened.

Friday my computer died. I really dislike technology for a lot of reasons, chief among these is because it is not built nearly well enough for the amount that is paid to own it. In fact it is really poorly built. As if this is not frustration enough, no there has to be more.

Then a further frustration is the ineptitude of the monkey parade of fools that work on computers and other technological devices. Most of these monkeys know just enough techno babble to confuse you but they have no idea what they are talking about for the most part and can make little or no sense of the binary stuff going on in the background.

I don’t know a lot but I know enough to know if someone took away their little templates of insert board A into slot C and then connect wire E to insert G, they are really just as stupid about computers as the billions of keypad crushing masses who only know that the button with the not quiet full circle and line turns on the box that eats too much money and was probably build really badly.

So Friday I must venture out to the capital of these monkeys and their monument to the inefficiency of our techno world. They think that because they have embraced our collective image of the person who knows all about the voodoo which is the matrix of computer-ese and gadgetry that we will assume that they are god like in their knowledge.

They are in fact a bunch of idiots lost in a maze just like the rest of us. In fact it’s a bit worse than that because if they have to remove a step then got to the left or to the right of the script they are helplessly lost. Mostly the sad thing is that this is the only place that most of these monkeys can even find work.

Sorry our computer says no. No I have no idea what to do now because I have no answer card for that or the computer doesn’t understand what you are asking. No I have no idea what to do at all so I’m gonna say a bunch of stuff to make you feel like you don’t know anything about computers either. (Insert weak employee of the monkey parade smile)

At this point I really want to scream into their simple little moronic faces, “Look you are in the business of customer service. Your job when my face is in front of you is to answer my questions with answers. I will accept a queue of people waiting for service graciously if I can see the wheels are turning with some effectiveness and not grinding away doing ten times the work necessary to accomplish something. However when you look all doe eyed at me and say ‘I don’t know’ and then make no effort to find the answer I want to scream. Then when I ask a question to follow up the first and then you say, ‘well I’m not very good at that’. I really want to say then why the hell do you have this job if you don’t know how to do it in the first place.”

Somehow I manage to leave the store with the major part of my sanity intact and no corpses in my wake or even bruised egos. The inside of my mouth is bleeding though as I’ve literally bitten the inside of my cheek to keep from losing it with one moron in particular.

Now, Just to be clear, I really understand that sometimes the answer is no or not even one I want to hear. I can accept that when this bad news is given to me competently but in a manner which is inane, inadequate, and inept well in the words of the Queen of Hearts, Off with their heads.

Then moron drivers nearly killed me on my way home. That’s another story.

Saturday, I do some of what I want to do but as I’m waiting for the monkeys to call me I don’t want to get to involved in a bunch of stuff. So I make other plans and I wait for a phone call that never comes saying my new computer is all set and can be picked up. I try to call on Saturday a few times. No one ever answers the phone.

Now call me silly but why waste time driving to the store to find out, that the work is not completed and then have to come back another time. That’s why we have phones right? To make our lives less complicated. Just like the rest of the technology. It’s supposed to make us happy and calm and free up all this time and leave us stress free. Was that PT Barnum?

Sunday rolls around and I call again with no answer. I let the phone ring at one point for 20 minutes straight and no one answered the phone, not even an annoying computer voice interrupted the ringing to tell me that my rude behavior of calling the store is important to them and someone will be with me shortly. Nope just ring, ring, ring… on and on.

Customer Service? Finally I was able to get someone to answer and they say well it didn’t say to call you.

Excuse me I just bought a product that was not cheap and had to leave it in the store because some data I needed transferred over. I really understand that a data transfer doesn’t happen like it does in the movies in less than two minutes onto a portable drive stick. I really do get that this is not an immediate thing and I am really ok with that task taking some time to get done. However, when one guy says, ‘We will call you when it’s done then the next idiot says it doesn’t say to call you.’ My head just has trouble comprehending the level of idiocy that this would require.

My first thought is why the hell would you even assume that something that can not be done in a few minutes would not automatically require a call to the customer when the job was completed? Then to not even say I’m sorry we fucked up in a big way, you just say well it doesn’t say to call you. And then offer no other statement. That says you just don’t care.

The solution is that I have certainly bought my last new product from that particular store well chain of stores. I know I can find everything I would buy from them someplace else and will give my dollars to them.

There is so much more to this rant but it doesn’t relate to the utter stupidity of these employees.

In other news

I have better stuff to write about that happened on Sunday. So there is that to look forward to in the next issue.

That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,



Listening to: brainwashing information behind Tori Amos

Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Squirrels Gone Wild

I’ve been reading more lately than I have been. Not just blogs, but actual books and junk, but still not as much as I probably should or at the very least the amount I think I should be reading. They (yes, the ever present and omni purposed THEY) say you should read more than you write.

Does that mean if you have to write a bunch of stuff for work, you then have to read more than that too?

Or should you just read more than you write to be read by others. But what if the stuff you write for work is supposed to be read by others too. Does that amount then figure into the amount you should be reading before you start writing or do you write and then catch up on the reading? Or… oh I don’t know I just want to be reading more and I’m not but I’m trying.


Completely unrelated how do piece of crap movies, like Vampires Suck, continue to get made but the James Bond franchise might be dying because they can‘t afford to make a movie? Yeah, I know, I would rather see a good Bond movie over 10 bad movies any day. Yes I actually did see Vampires Suck, so I can say it was a bad movie. However, the scene when the Team Edward Twi-hard girl getting beat in the head with a shovel by the Team Jacob chick was too funny, but we all know Team Edward is the team to be on.

Why? Really do you need to ask? Well if you do the plain and simple truth is … ‘cause werewolves suck that’s why. Yeah that’s right … I’m team Edward … wha’cha’gonna do ‘bout it… well not really I’m more team Alice but the movies aren’t about her but they would have been damn sight better if they had been and I’ll tell ya’ all a’nutter ting… ah..hem…cough, cough… sorry. It’s all only fiction and I’m better now. Well better for me.

In other news.

I’ve found a new writer that I like and today read what I think was a pretty amazing poem dealing with finding yourself once you’ve lost yourself in the world of others.

I also spent some time and read some of the older stuff I have posted and I shrink down in shame away from the glare of the computer screen and think man you really need to take the time to reread this stuff.

The voice in my head says you don’t really need an editor, it so much more that you just need to take your time and look at what you’re writing. Read it again before you put it out there. Simply, I don’t give myself enough time to do this stuff. I get a lot of enjoyment, calming, centering and release when I write and it gives me pause when I need it.


I would say 90 percent of what I write ends up in the cyber trashcan and never sees the publish button. Yeah the other 10 percent should probably end up there too but I like to do this so suffer. I’m trying to be better there.

Stunt boy said today, “why don’t you just write a book.” I said, I’m working on it.

In other news

Doodle came by today and we, she and Stunt boy and I watched a movie with no nick name kid. No nick name kid is one of stunt boys friends I haven’t given him a nick name yet. He‘ll get one everyone gets one that ends up in here at some point.

We talked about the WTF Wednesday issues, and for anyone interested Doodle does still talk to the boy some times (it’s a cyber world after all) and remembered the song he wrote for her and even sang a bit of it. It was really, every bit as cool to hear it again as I remembered it being. She says she even has a copy of the song somewhere. Maybe it will get up on the internet someday if either of us somehow learn enough about computers to make that happen. She will before I do.

Litter box thought of the day… I didn’t have to clean it Stunt boy did it. YAY! I’ll have to do it tomorrow though most likely.

That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




Listening to: Stuff Stunt boy is watching on TV.

Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

WTF Wednesday

So a new thing we’ll be trying is the WTF Wednesday. The first WTF thought of the day is that I actually made a reference using the character, Ricky Bobby. OMG WTF.



The only really funny thing about the movie is him being locked in the car with the puma. It’s not really funny as it is I hoped he died so the movie would end there. Alas he did not. Then today I’m talking with Hoover and I say, even Ricky Bobby got the girl. Really. I know I’ll hang my head in shame.



However that got me to thinking about WTF moments



One of them was about Doodle meeting some kid online and becoming friends. They talked for a while online, he even wrote a pretty catchy little song that wasn’t all that bad. She comes up to me one day and say hey dad this guy is coming to town.



I say, really?



She says, yeah, can we hang out?



I say, I’m not sure I’m thrilled about this.



What if you can meet him first.



Let me think about it. Which is dad for most likely No but I don't want to say no right now but if you can come up with a reasonable reason for me to say yes I will change my mind. Did I mention that Doodle has always been really logical even when she was 5.



She tells the boy that I’ll think about it then he tells her, that his dad wants to meet her too.



Doodle comes back with this info and I’m thinking well if his Dad is insisting on meeting my child and I’m insisting on meeting his child then we can assess the whole thing and then we adults will be there and they will have to tell us the same story.



So I say sure if I’m meeting the other adult involved in this. Doodle is all Yay, the kid is all Yay. I’m all this kid better be normal and I’m sure his dad was thinking the same thing.



The day comes when the kid is in town. The plan is that they want to walk around down town and shop, get some food and just hang out for a bit. So we head to the down town area. We get to the meeting spot and I’m looking at this guy thinking I know him. And he is looking at me like I know him. The kids look at each other and are All hey OMG so glad to see you IRL and junk. The introductions are just about to start and my brain goes CLICK. I used to work with this guy before he moved away and I say Hey (insert actual name) Guy. How are you.



He says, Hey Invisible Don, I’m good how about you.



I’m still working for the place



Things still the same?... the conversation didn't get much deep than that.



Both our kids are like WTF our dads know each other. We get there plan and both dads are feeling much better about this whole thing because we know one another and the kids aren’t exactly complete strangers.



They did hang out for a bit that day and they talked for a while longer online. They may even be friends, I’m not sure.

I’ll have to check with doodle.



In other WTF stuff



Lifetime Movies have like a hypno-ray or something in them that just pull you in and you are all like I just watched a three hour movie about nothing. If you like these movies fine I’m just saying that they just suck you in and then there you are for those three hours.



So yeah that really good news is really good news and the really bad part of that news is really bad.



In completely unrelated news the new Matt Damon movie, The Adjustment Bureau looks freaking awesome



Litter box thoughts - what do you think about when scooping the litter box. Today I was like, hmm the cats didn’t really do much today. I’m sure tomorrow will be more productive. Gross.



That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow



Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday



Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.



Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.



Ciao,





Listening to: TV



Gamer Tag: invisible don



PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Random thoughts of the day

OMG FML w/o KYJ TBIFS NNTNB

So ever have reason to be happy and sad all about the same thing.

I really wonder how some people have survived as long as they have.

Tuesday’s are really long for me.

I am to tattoos as moths are to flames.

I was saying the word before it was cool.

In other news - rants are like cigars sometimes they are just thoughts

That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,



Listening to: bad TV

Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

Babies really shouldn't play with arrows

So Stupid’s day is nearly over. In case you are wondering no I’m not saying it is a stupid day just because I’m single I’m saying it is stupid because it is stupid. It is a meaningless holiday that does more to damage relationships than it does to celebrate them. Now I am over generalizing and I know it, but admitting that there are actually happy couples doesn’t do my rant any service. However think on this, that every relationship given an infinite amount of time will eventually fail.

What I particularly do not like about stupid day is that it is all sort of one side and by sort of one sided mean totally one sided.

Now stupid day isn’t the only holiday like this, most of them are completely one side especially when there are prizes at stake. However in the case of stupid day it really shouldn’t be.

Why? Well it takes two to tango you can’t have a relationship with just one person. Well you probably can but it’s not as rewarding. So why do women get all the prizes? Yeah, yeah, you hardened angry women will say because you have to put up with our crap the rest of the year. Well I ask you this, if you aren’t happy 364 days out of the year give or take and this one day of prizes will make up for it all. Then when the simple 24 hours of bliss doesn’t make it all better then my guess is that maybe there is a bigger issue than the person with whom you are in the relationship. Remember too every bad relationship you have ever had, has one thing in common… you.

Yup, yup, I went there. And before you go there I know the biggest obstacle to my being in a relationship is me. This isn’t about me.

What I don’t get is why all the pressure about the perfect gift for one day to celebrate love. Shouldn’t you celebrate it, every day? And shouldn’t both partners celebrate that relationship equally? Well of course they should but it doesn’t work that way.

The way it works is that the guy is expected to buy a fabulous prize and then get a… oh what is it … oh yeah that’s right nothing. Well not nothing you still have love but if you have had to buy love, isn’t that the same as picking up love on the street corner? Well fortunately it is legal to buy it with prizes and you’re less likely to end up with an STD but still on some level it’s really the same.

Oops, … I did just compare how we play at valentines day with prostitution. What can I say if the shoe fits … shrug. I know it’s me.

I’m just saying if its supposed to be about a relationship it should be about the whole thing not just half of it.

But we are called ungrateful if we notice that we are being ignored, we are told that we are insensitive if you decide not to play the stupid day games, and if you get too into the whole thing and celebrate love with too much abandon we’re too feminine. We, guys, can’t win. However, despite all the ranting somewhere down deep inside me beats the heart of a romantic but if you tell anyone I’ll deny it.

In related news, a bit of beaten wood holds a piece of time and on the prime opus of a moth hangs a moon and a druidic grace, and the daily scent of the ocean reminds me of words spoken twice in whispers, between crushed breaths of evermore.


That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow or the next day.

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,



Listening to: Being Human

Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015