Friday my computer died. I really dislike technology for a lot of reasons, chief among these is because it is not built nearly well enough for the amount that is paid to own it. In fact it is really poorly built. As if this is not frustration enough, no there has to be more.
Then a further frustration is the ineptitude of the monkey parade of fools that work on computers and other technological devices. Most of these monkeys know just enough techno babble to confuse you but they have no idea what they are talking about for the most part and can make little or no sense of the binary stuff going on in the background.
I don’t know a lot but I know enough to know if someone took away their little templates of insert board A into slot C and then connect wire E to insert G, they are really just as stupid about computers as the billions of keypad crushing masses who only know that the button with the not quiet full circle and line turns on the box that eats too much money and was probably build really badly.
So Friday I must venture out to the capital of these monkeys and their monument to the inefficiency of our techno world. They think that because they have embraced our collective image of the person who knows all about the voodoo which is the matrix of computer-ese and gadgetry that we will assume that they are god like in their knowledge.
They are in fact a bunch of idiots lost in a maze just like the rest of us. In fact it’s a bit worse than that because if they have to remove a step then got to the left or to the right of the script they are helplessly lost. Mostly the sad thing is that this is the only place that most of these monkeys can even find work.
Sorry our computer says no. No I have no idea what to do now because I have no answer card for that or the computer doesn’t understand what you are asking. No I have no idea what to do at all so I’m gonna say a bunch of stuff to make you feel like you don’t know anything about computers either. (Insert weak employee of the monkey parade smile)
At this point I really want to scream into their simple little moronic faces, “Look you are in the business of customer service. Your job when my face is in front of you is to answer my questions with answers. I will accept a queue of people waiting for service graciously if I can see the wheels are turning with some effectiveness and not grinding away doing ten times the work necessary to accomplish something. However when you look all doe eyed at me and say ‘I don’t know’ and then make no effort to find the answer I want to scream. Then when I ask a question to follow up the first and then you say, ‘well I’m not very good at that’. I really want to say then why the hell do you have this job if you don’t know how to do it in the first place.”
Somehow I manage to leave the store with the major part of my sanity intact and no corpses in my wake or even bruised egos. The inside of my mouth is bleeding though as I’ve literally bitten the inside of my cheek to keep from losing it with one moron in particular.
Now, Just to be clear, I really understand that sometimes the answer is no or not even one I want to hear. I can accept that when this bad news is given to me competently but in a manner which is inane, inadequate, and inept well in the words of the Queen of Hearts, Off with their heads.
Then moron drivers nearly killed me on my way home. That’s another story.
Saturday, I do some of what I want to do but as I’m waiting for the monkeys to call me I don’t want to get to involved in a bunch of stuff. So I make other plans and I wait for a phone call that never comes saying my new computer is all set and can be picked up. I try to call on Saturday a few times. No one ever answers the phone.
Now call me silly but why waste time driving to the store to find out, that the work is not completed and then have to come back another time. That’s why we have phones right? To make our lives less complicated. Just like the rest of the technology. It’s supposed to make us happy and calm and free up all this time and leave us stress free. Was that PT Barnum?
Sunday rolls around and I call again with no answer. I let the phone ring at one point for 20 minutes straight and no one answered the phone, not even an annoying computer voice interrupted the ringing to tell me that my rude behavior of calling the store is important to them and someone will be with me shortly. Nope just ring, ring, ring… on and on.
Customer Service? Finally I was able to get someone to answer and they say well it didn’t say to call you.
Excuse me I just bought a product that was not cheap and had to leave it in the store because some data I needed transferred over. I really understand that a data transfer doesn’t happen like it does in the movies in less than two minutes onto a portable drive stick. I really do get that this is not an immediate thing and I am really ok with that task taking some time to get done. However, when one guy says, ‘We will call you when it’s done then the next idiot says it doesn’t say to call you.’ My head just has trouble comprehending the level of idiocy that this would require.
My first thought is why the hell would you even assume that something that can not be done in a few minutes would not automatically require a call to the customer when the job was completed? Then to not even say I’m sorry we fucked up in a big way, you just say well it doesn’t say to call you. And then offer no other statement. That says you just don’t care.
The solution is that I have certainly bought my last new product from that particular store well chain of stores. I know I can find everything I would buy from them someplace else and will give my dollars to them.
There is so much more to this rant but it doesn’t relate to the utter stupidity of these employees.
In other news
I have better stuff to write about that happened on Sunday. So there is that to look forward to in the next issue.
That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow
Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday
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Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.
Ciao,
Listening to: brainwashing information behind Tori Amos
Gamer Tag: invisible don
PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015
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