The Jalapeno Challenge

Many of us have those things we did and regret at the time but now make for very amusing stories. Like the tale of the Jalapeno Challenge. The other one, myself and several members of the ACC, for those of you who don’t read regularly the ACC is Assorted Childhood Chums. We were all adults at this point but when you’ve known some one from the middle school days on they are always in the ACC, that and I like the acronym.

We had been skiing all day and by that I mean working too. Because we grew up in the shadow of a ski mountain, two actually many kids ski in the area. Just as many don’t which I never really understood. Many of the ACC also found themselves working as ski instructors, myself included.

Now you may be thinking teaching skiing isn’t real work. Certainly it isn’t bricks and mortar construction but it is out in the cold for hours in temperatures below freezing many days and it is a physical job.

So we finish work and head to the pub after work, we are young 20 somethings that is what you do.

Now I’m not sure who to blame for the brilliance that turned into the Jalapeno Challenge but we are having a few, playing darts and eating some nachos. Perfectly adequate after ski fun, the it is suggested that we kick the fun up a notch.

We each eat one slice of Jalapeno Pepper then add one each time we go around the table so then two then three and so on.

Who ever decided that they couldn’t continue would be a wimp and what ever other disreputable things we decided to call them for the evening.

Well we made it to 16 rounds of the Jalapeno Challenge and if are curious that is 136 slices of jalapeno peppers each. I’m not sure how many of us were in it at the end of the challenge but I think at least 5 of us.

We would have gone on longer but the bar manager decided that we had, had enough of the peppers. Usually you get cut off from the alcohol in a pub not the peppers.

Sure Jalapenos aren’t really the hottest peppers in the world , I’ll give you that but they aren’t bell peppers either.

Well none of us were any the worse for the experience or so we thought.

Well at 3:00 a.m. someone else was already awake and making a lot of painful noises.

I wasn’t awake until about a little after 4:00 p.m. and I knew what that pain was all about and I wish I didn’t know what the pain was about. Who knew fire could come out that end of things. Well I’m sure the bar manager may have had a clue but he could have cut us off before we were well over 100 slices of pepper each.

Well before 4:30 there were 5, 20 something year old men saying come on ice cream and drinking milk, and anything dairy in that apartment was gone before 5 a.m.

Now add to this because we were in the middle of no where ski town nothing is open at 5:00 a.m.

Our insides were saying you need to get this hot toxic sludge out of your body and pain centers were not accepting all the manual override commands and one of us would reluctantly give in to the horror.

The hour between 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. was possibly one of the longest of our lives.

We decided that at about 5:40 a.m. standing outside in 20 degree cold would probably work to keep our bodies for trying to expel any more of the poison inside us until the store opened.

So we put on jackets and hats and gloves and huddled outside the door of the local gas and sip, which was right next door, thankfully.

The owner showed up promptly at 5:59 a.m. to Open at 6 and was surprised to see a crowd of butt clenching shivering guys outside his store. We bought ice cream and milk. I’m not sure which confused him more us being there before he opened or that we all bought dairy and left really promptly already drinking the milk before we got out of the store.

We don’t speak of this when we see each other


Well, that’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow most likely

Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday

Thank you for reading, please subscribe, you know if you are reading this on blogspot or on diaryland. If you are reading on face book well you are already subscribed. Aren’t you happy.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,





PS 3 Gamer Tag: invisible don

PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015

random ... like chocolate syrup

Where I work occupies a lot of my mental time and energies. I can’t really talk about what I do because of confidentiality reasons. No not that I would have to kill you later if I told you… that was a different job. Yes huh.

I try not to talk about co-workers because well it gets back to them if you do but I really don’t have much to say about any of them … well that came out badly … mostly they are a good group of people, whom I respect as colleagues and would have lots of nice things to say about them if I were to say anything … mostly… insert peter rabbit principle now. If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything …so I won’t. Tends to keep you from getting fired.

Which is odd, talk all the smack you want about a co-worker in the office that’s ok. Well it’s not but you get the “don’t gossip” and the slap on the wrist while you hang your head while you get for the tongue wagging for gossiping in the office. Post it in a blog and then OMG it’s slander, it’s defamation of character, it’s the end of civilization as we know it and such stuff don’t cha know. Cheese and Rice. Believe me I have scads of funny stuff I could rant about…. Yes scads… enough to keep you in stitches for weeks and stuff but I can’t, so I shan’t

Scad or Scads means a large number or quantity most likely is a bastardization of the old English word scald meaning a multitude. So basically a lot of something … I googled it

So as I shan’t be speaking about the coworkers today I may in the future but only the nice things about the people I likes … I be a pirate .. Tis true ask the RIAA. Yeah they are bastards and I’m a pirate. Arg and such pirate like things.

Anyway on to random stuff from days past. I saw a sham WOW … no kidding at the CVS .. Seriously

I know I nearly peed right there in the store I was so excited … If I actually had peed I would have used the sham wow to hide the evidence that I had actually just peed with excitement .. Which is part of the reason I didn’t purchase said shamWOW that and I don’t really have that many things I would really use a sham wow for other than trying to stay completely dry in running shower. Which I’m afraid that if this thing is as absorbent as the commercials say it may actually make you use more water because it will draw the water by the gallons right out of the pipes and that can’t be a good thing. Gallons per second all thanks to the sham wow … it could happen … it could

But I sooooooooooooo want one that thing seems soooooooo cool .. It was right next to a slap chop… I know I can’t even begin to talk about that because I’m still all a flutter about the sham wow. No seriously those two things if I owned them would be so cool like snoopy flipping out at meal time, like a dead head and a bong, like finding a magic lamp, like being first at the office and getting rock star parking, like waking up and realizing it’s Saturday when you thought it was Friday. Finding your favorites shoes on sale BOGO

Ok I’m all better now… well for me.

Should I mention this other person or not… mention or not, mention or not ???? Hmmm maybe later.

Yes, I do, no I won’t - not ever, why - well because … hideous

The previous line of answers to this statement are for the debate previous to the answers . The answers are for the questions you probably asked after reading the first statement and me saying maybe later. You should be happy I answered your questions. Well they may not be in the right order for everyone but you asked them not me. No I’m not crazy or insane.

They make utterly useless stuff and put it in kid aisles

Why can the lay out of a store make absolutely no sense ... Why … As in what do charcoal briquettes have to do with breakfast cereal? Hmmm? Yeah that’s what I thought … You got nothing either

I’ve accidentally been dropping a period out of my ellipses lately as I’ve been typing and then have to go back and add them or take them away if I’ve done too many.

The straight across bangs look is really … ok I’m not sharing. (too many that time)

I wanna new tattoo but I can’t afford it

Doodle had dinner with Stunt boy and I the other day. That was really nice we didn’t talk a bunch but we hung out some and she went through some of her things which are still here. I miss her a lot and think of her every day.
My toes hurt (left foot)

Yeah I’m still at a loss for that one… I don’t know either

Nearly a year with out the smokes but I still have the pack in the freezer in case I freak out. Tick tock tick tock

2700 days since the jones… we all jones for the jones but it’s been 2700 days. (too many)

Ambulances were busy today here in the ’noke if you didn’t notice or aren’t from here how would you know.

Like three on the way home … Yeah (not enough)

It’s too hot to mow and muggy … so I’m not at least not for a little while longer… maybe tomorrow (both just right ; ) that time)

Spricket24 on you tube makes me laugh… like a lot and… never mind

On to other internet and household excitements until next time.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

Stomp, shower, sparkle ...smile

A while back an omnivore friend of mine and I were talking. She was saying how she really liked a particular sandwich at a restaurant with au jus. She was wondering if she could make it at home. I said yeah it’s really just the water blood and fat which is expelled from the meat while you are cooking and then spicing it up a bit to your own taste with salt, pepper, perhaps some vinegar, Worcestershire, etc … please don’t say that’s not the right stuff. I’m not a cooking show I’m making a different point. But I know when I worked in the restaurant biz it was mainly just the liquefied fat expelled water and blood from the meat we were cooking.

She made a face like she had not thought about it being blood before. I asked if that was it and she said yes. I said au jus mean with the juices. What juice do you get from meat? That’s right you get juice from veggies and fruit but not from animals. I wasn’t saying it to be mean, just making a point. Now you can make au jus at home from a mix using bullion. Which really means someone else has already cooked out the meat juice and spiced it up and then pulled about 99.9% of the water out of it so you can re-liquefy it later. No granted au jus isn’t like chomping into a vein or spiking an artery with a straw and having a gulp.

Anyway she didn’t throw up thinking about it and that wasn’t my objective, we then moved to conversation on to talking about the pixie. (Stomp shower sparkle hee hee) Well …it means something to me and it’s too involved to actually explain and not loose the whole point in the translation., it makes me smile… then there is the super girl thing… well perhaps not that … similar yet completely different

Lost yet ? I not… or at least I don’t think I am. But the microbial war still rages in my body I think the home team is winning but losing means death so let’s hope I win or if you not a fan perhaps you wish the other way… eventually the away team wins but not the point. Hope your home team is winning too.


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,

...8...9...10. Ready or not here I come.

While reading a human interest news story, fluff as it would be called in the biz, about a girl who hid so well during a game of hide and seek that the parents called in professional help. I’m not posting a link to the story because the child was found after over an hours worth of searching. Now do we throw the widen net and call these people bad parents for loosing track of their child? I’ve done that, albeit not for that long and on the opposite end of the scale this child has siblings who probably cheat like the dickens at hide and seek. So when the child is being looked for she was probably thinking the heck with you I’m not coming out when you are calling all in, all in, all in free. And it’s not ollie, ollie, oxen free… That makes not a bit of sense. Not that hide and seek is all that sensible of a game, other than life skills development of how far you actually have to go to find … oh say your keys if you don’t have an elephant. I have an elephant. The elephant doesn’t lose things. So if you don’t have an elephant I suggest you get one, because keys can hide in a lot of places. A lot of places. Yup they’ve been there too... No, not there that would be silly. Anyway point being you look and look until you find them in as the saying goes, it’s always the last place you look. Yup a true pearl of wisdom that one.

However, Like this kid I was hiding and hiding and hiding, and finally fell asleep in my hiding spot. If it’s that good a spot you don’t fess it up you keep it quiet because the only way you keep a secret between three people is if two of them are dead, or so said Mr. C-note Franklin. I wandered home afterwards because unlike the kid in the news story not too many people actually realized I was missing, as a matter of fact no one noticed. Which leads me to believe I was invisible long before even I realized it.

So kid was found, who wasn’t lost, I found myself but I wasn’t lost either. Well that’s different story and has nothing to do with hide and seek. Most likely this kid’s parents will be outcasts in their community and people will whisper behind their backs … they’re the really bad parents who lost their kid. Yeah I heard about that one she was missing for days. Hey in a few years watch it will be huge. Wolves and bats and gummy bears… oh me. I doubt anyone’s said that one before… mine. Yeah , nee ner.

Sadly this two year old has been banned from playing hide and seek now...FOREVER! Now, she’ll never find her keys, some one get her an elephant. Please for crying out loud. How can we expect this kid to be normal now.

Hey I get worked up about the fluff pieces. That is where all the real people live, you know under the plastic wrap. Oh, it’s raining. Yup, yup and my head hurts. Well’s it hurts for two reasons, wait three, four, oh a bunch… Imma take a shower maybe that will make it go away. You just have to love the new English that text messaging is creating. Imma means, “ I am going to” do what ever follows. Hey it saves over half the letters, who cares that the written word is dying in the thumb thumping grasp of our teenagers.

Imma shwr nw cya l8r


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




PS. So I gave benji his due respect in text and the elephant thing is biological public domain about them not forgetting where water is even after years of not going to the same place. I mean like a smart bomb right to the spot, pretty cool if you ask me but you didn’t but I told you anyway.

Peace

NYC is the place where they say....

So I had the smoking dream again last night. It wakes me up every time. I should call it the smoking nightmare. Well what do I expect I started smoking at 12 and didn’t stop until a day short of 47 weeks ago. This is part of my memory system and thus part of my unconscious self. However, before I get much deeper than that, I had the dream. Not only that it actually feels like I’ve done it in my lungs. I know I haven’t because I wake up and there isn’t a cigarette in my hand.

When that happens I’m calling Chunk and saying dude you’ll never believe what just happened. I was sleep smoking. You know how you used to sleep eat when you were trying to loose weight. Well yeah I smoke in my sleep. I know damnedest thing. Peace and stuff.

That is how that would go if it happened. I won’t, so there. Not that everyone has the same confidence. Beta unit was all hey have you started smoking again. No. Really, wow that’s amazing everyone fails at that. WTF? Yeah I’m going to start saying it that way too. Double U - Tee- EFF and tilting my head slightly as I do it in an all cali-surfer-valley accent. Which will probably come across as a bit bitchy but hey I think that if someone is harshing your parade of success, you have the right to say double u - tee -eff. (still in the accent) right?.! Yeah that’s what I thought.

So back to the yeah everyone fails. Thanks for the vote of confidence. However, every ex-smoker is just one puff away from being a full blown rag dragger, just like alcoholics are just a sip away from laying in the gutter, junkies as just a pull, push, snort, stab or drop from falling right back on to the urine stained sofa in the abandoned house in the bad part of town. Yup it’s true. You know it’s true. It’s the god’s honest truth and stuff. Why it is true. Well I’ll tell you why it’s true. No not because my momma said so. But because everything fails on a long enough time span.

We may not live long enough to take the next, drink, puff, snort, fixx, shot, dose, push, pull or plug of what ever your drug of choice happens to be but if we were to live that long we would fail. Why because statistic say we will. And you didn’t think math would be helpful too you. So there your success in what ever you do only has a limited shelf life all thanks to some anal, uptight, number loving math geek. Who is most likely a very lovable and kind hearted person, just with poor social skills. So hug a geek, nerd or dweeb today. DO IT. Thank you.

But the point is we will all fail eventually in a sense of the word. And whose to say that oh after a few hundred years if I want to have another cigarette I can’t have one. Is that so bad. I smoke but only one every 212 years. See. However it does stand to reason that you couldn’t call yourself a non smoker even with that little frequency of the occurrence. FAIL.

Oh Chunk is a real person and he did sleep eat. Tie him up if you see him or padlock your fridge. And if Jay comes by he’ll pee in your fridge if you let him drink … so don’t … no honest don‘t let him drink. It’s true. Why do I mention these things because our drugs make us do wacked out things. So be careful and pick something you can handle or accept your behavior afterwards.

Dreams of nicotine are not such a bad wacked out thing I can handle that . So as Lou shows us the proper way to spike a vein and the chorus sings. (DoDotado DoDotado DoDotado DoDotado DoDotado DoDotado Dotado ) Say Hi to Holly, Candy, little joe, jackie and the sugerplum fairy on your walk on the wild side. *


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




* reference to "a walk on the wild side” by Lou Reed - I don’t know if he actually wrote the song or not

pps : I so need an editor or really need to proof read.

What women say -- what a guy hears

Wednesday, oh my god -- I've been working my but off today --


Isn't that what you are suppose to do


Yes, but I don't like it


Guestbook click for info, I'm trying a new format for the entries -- it worked yesterday so lets see if it works today


So yesterday I wanted to go back and be a priest -- and I'm still thinking about that today


Don't worry I just go through these spells and this to will pass -- besides I'm not ready to trade in this set of complications just yet for a new set -- I'm actually starting to figure these out why would I want to start over again


I don't have a movie to review -- sadly I was in class last night -- well not so sadly -- but it was one of those days when you just don't want to do anything else -- and I still had to do the class thing.


Oh by the way I have a stack of papers to read and grade now too


oh my life is so much fun -- I used to think having to do a paper was bad -- NOT -- try reading them sometime -- that sucks


anyway enough of that


Has anything happened in my life that would make an interesting entry. Well yes in fact there are plenty the question is which do I write about


Oh I don't know what to write I've actually started several things and then deleted them --not that you would know that but now you do


Oh I thought of something Chicken pie mentioned something about a guy taking "lets rent a movie" as the go ahead for sex later


Well today I received a joke/story about a guy who didn't understand what his wife said -- now there is a theme




What women say -- what a guy hears



Lets rent a movie -- does indeed sound like lets have sex(don't ask me to explain its just the way it works)


What women say -- what a guy hears

Want to go to a movie -- lets have sex

Want to go to a concert -- lets have sex

Want to go anywhere with me -- lets have sex



What women say -- what a guy hears

Hey Honey(other pet name) -- nothing


What women say -- what a guy hears

Hey Honey(same as above)repeated several times -- Still nothing


you get it now right so I can stop repeating this

What women say -- what a guy hears

Dinners ready -- Dinners ready we might have sex later


Can you take out the trash -- If you move I'm going to jam a knife in your eye(same thing for any house work)


Where is the remote -- give me everything you own


I want you to meet my parents -- See if this noose fits


I think we should spend the holiday with my family -- You better marry me soon or I'm going to start seeing your best friend


I want to go out with the girls --I'm going out to find a new guy because you suck


Would you like to watch(insert chick flick)-- come over to my place,watch me cry all night and by the way no sex


You can go out with your buddies -- you step out that door Mister and you are a dead man


We need to talk -- Oh now you've done it


Do you want sex -- we think we are in heaven and just smile


OK enough of that

__________________________________________________

guestbook and stuff


Chickenpie

Well sometimes but not often the only one I have near the stereo is on the mantel and I can't see my feet -- let me guess you stood in line from about 4 am to buy the new CD as soon as the stores opened ??? -- No I don't own a CD by them -- well that's not true I have one, no its two -- oh no I'm a fan -- but it is on the shelf next to Marilyn Manson which makes me feel just a bit better about it all


Lobo well that's not true the Guinness thing is OK let me splain -- 1st the Church really doesn't frown on alcohol use -- 2nd Monks invented the stuff to begin with and Finally -- being part Irish its required I think, we might even actually die if we don't drink the stuff -- Yeah I think its still OK at least that's what Father Pat said and he's from Dublin -- hope the party goes well


M To stand in the midst of the silent roar and be awashed in the darkness and to know that all the while it is you


Heidi I'm not sure that Ive ever enjoyed the beatings handed down in rugby nearly as much as being tackle and slammed against the wall by someone who can't seem to keep their hands off you -- or I never really tried to compare the two -- because to think that the 250 post wants to put his hands on me --- eeeww yuck *shudder* that was a path I shouldn't have gone down


invisiblepal so was I invisible or did people know what I looked like ??


OK now I have to get some more work done