NYC is the place where they say....

So I had the smoking dream again last night. It wakes me up every time. I should call it the smoking nightmare. Well what do I expect I started smoking at 12 and didn’t stop until a day short of 47 weeks ago. This is part of my memory system and thus part of my unconscious self. However, before I get much deeper than that, I had the dream. Not only that it actually feels like I’ve done it in my lungs. I know I haven’t because I wake up and there isn’t a cigarette in my hand.

When that happens I’m calling Chunk and saying dude you’ll never believe what just happened. I was sleep smoking. You know how you used to sleep eat when you were trying to loose weight. Well yeah I smoke in my sleep. I know damnedest thing. Peace and stuff.

That is how that would go if it happened. I won’t, so there. Not that everyone has the same confidence. Beta unit was all hey have you started smoking again. No. Really, wow that’s amazing everyone fails at that. WTF? Yeah I’m going to start saying it that way too. Double U - Tee- EFF and tilting my head slightly as I do it in an all cali-surfer-valley accent. Which will probably come across as a bit bitchy but hey I think that if someone is harshing your parade of success, you have the right to say double u - tee -eff. (still in the accent) right?.! Yeah that’s what I thought.

So back to the yeah everyone fails. Thanks for the vote of confidence. However, every ex-smoker is just one puff away from being a full blown rag dragger, just like alcoholics are just a sip away from laying in the gutter, junkies as just a pull, push, snort, stab or drop from falling right back on to the urine stained sofa in the abandoned house in the bad part of town. Yup it’s true. You know it’s true. It’s the god’s honest truth and stuff. Why it is true. Well I’ll tell you why it’s true. No not because my momma said so. But because everything fails on a long enough time span.

We may not live long enough to take the next, drink, puff, snort, fixx, shot, dose, push, pull or plug of what ever your drug of choice happens to be but if we were to live that long we would fail. Why because statistic say we will. And you didn’t think math would be helpful too you. So there your success in what ever you do only has a limited shelf life all thanks to some anal, uptight, number loving math geek. Who is most likely a very lovable and kind hearted person, just with poor social skills. So hug a geek, nerd or dweeb today. DO IT. Thank you.

But the point is we will all fail eventually in a sense of the word. And whose to say that oh after a few hundred years if I want to have another cigarette I can’t have one. Is that so bad. I smoke but only one every 212 years. See. However it does stand to reason that you couldn’t call yourself a non smoker even with that little frequency of the occurrence. FAIL.

Oh Chunk is a real person and he did sleep eat. Tie him up if you see him or padlock your fridge. And if Jay comes by he’ll pee in your fridge if you let him drink … so don’t … no honest don‘t let him drink. It’s true. Why do I mention these things because our drugs make us do wacked out things. So be careful and pick something you can handle or accept your behavior afterwards.

Dreams of nicotine are not such a bad wacked out thing I can handle that . So as Lou shows us the proper way to spike a vein and the chorus sings. (DoDotado DoDotado DoDotado DoDotado DoDotado DoDotado Dotado ) Say Hi to Holly, Candy, little joe, jackie and the sugerplum fairy on your walk on the wild side. *


Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.

Ciao,




* reference to "a walk on the wild side” by Lou Reed - I don’t know if he actually wrote the song or not

pps : I so need an editor or really need to proof read.