What about moose and squirrel

So yesterday morning I was watching a story about international dating sites or aka mail order brides as Mr. Lauer referred to them. He even suggested that it was essentially prostitution and said prostitution as part of the interview. The big question that he had was why is this popular at all and why is it growing in popularity, especially in the United States and in other similar capitalist cultures.

I don’t like the terms westernized and industrial nations because they refer to different ideas but the thing is socially capitalism / materialism does shape our attitudes and behaviors.

Now I do feel I must insert a disclaimer at this point in the blog, the ideas expressed in this issue are not about anyone specific that I know. So to anyone reading this that I personally know if your thoughts begin to turn toward that rat bastard is talking about me here, you are reading far too much into this and these are not my opinions about you. If I don’t know you and you are drawing similarities about what I’m saying well it is my opinion and I am allowed to have an opinion and your opinion is yours and you are allowed to have yours too.

Anyway moving on. Why are international dating sites gaining in popularity. One more disclaimer the sites seem to be mainly women seeking men I don’t know if there are male sites where women can go to find husbands from an international dating site because they were only talking about the ones were women are seeking relationships And I didn’t look into it from that point of view.

So Why is this gaining in popularity Mr. Lauer asked. My first thought was that probably because these women probably haven’t been raised in a me, me, me, me, me, culture. Now I know there are a lot of women right here in the good ol’ US of A who are not all me, me, me 24/7/365. There are a lot of them though.

There are also a lot of Jackass men too but mainly all these jackasses are married. Mainly because they don’t much care what you do as long as its’ not mucking up what they want to do.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a woman say she is so tired of dating this jackass or being married to that jackass I would have a shit ton of dollars.

I usually ask this question, how is this person really that different from when you met them the first time. 99% of the time the person is exactly the same. Yeah it’s not a very endearing question but I haven’t ever been slapped for asking the question, yet.

So mainly the two guys they showed in this interview and others I’ve seen on the topic were not unattractive, they had stable jobs, they were clear in what they wanted and seemed to be pretty stable. They weren’t terribly exciting though. How bad a thing is that? A serious significant other that is dependable, home a lot of the time, financially responsible, gainfully employed etc.

I also know a lot of guys like this not terribly exciting but have been burned, time and time again by women who are all about me.

Sure maybe the problem with them is that the choose the wrong type of woman, That could be too. However, I just see a lot of woman picking the jerk face, ass-bite over the really nice guys they know.

Here is a little test think about your girlfriends who are dating or married to a jerk/jackass/bag of hammers guy. Have your person in mind. Does she have a friend who is crushing on her and letting them know they are interested and that girlfriend is completely unaware of him. In fact this girl probably bares all her agony about the jerk she is seeing to his guy. Right you know him. Awesome guy. A little socially inept but a good, stable, guy.

His last girl friend? Oh yeah she dumped him for some tool-bag with a criminal record, because of the excuse de-jour of the latest issue of what ever ‘zine she happened to be reading.

Now is the fairy tale romance going to be found on the international dating scene. Probably not all of the time but I’ll bet that these relationships last more then one date because of insert some dumbass shallow reason not to date someone. These people are more likely than not going to be searching for serious commitment you don’t move out of your country on a whim, out of town sure. Leaving everything you know, everyone you know, every place that is familiar to something large an unknown that takes something more real than I won’t consider even going on a date with someone if they aren’t the right height. ??? WTF

So I just think mainly we are a very hedonistic society and we are shallow and we are in too big a rush to have romantic bliss wiggle up on our laps and wink and have that happy ending with out the work.

Good relationships take work, they take some seriousness, they too take time.

Oh but invisible don you are standing up there pretty high on a moral soapbox there why not point that critical point of view at yourself.

I know I’m not perfect, I want the fairy tale but I know it takes work. I also know I have a pretty big wall of defensiveness built up with all the baggage I have from failed relationships. Trust issues, and all that. I know. I’m working on that and I’m also a tad hedonistic and selfish. I like things my way and all of that. So yeah I am a big stumbling block in my own thing. However I’m not looking on the international dating scene. Not that is far and beyond what I find attractive because an eastern European / Russian accent is like a drug, even Natasha asking Boris, what about moose and squirrel is a bit of a turn on, maybe not as raspy.

One of the women made a very, I thought, excellent argument for international sites. We don’t give a second thought if someone from the east coast meets someone from the west coast why the really different point of view over a relationship that is essentially not much further away.

I don’t know my thoughts are that we are becoming to much me and not enough we in our thoughts about relationships and I think people raised in much less materialistic social systems are more we than me in a relationship.

I don’t mean abandon yourself but teamwork, cooperation and partnership are keys to success in relationships. And compromise isn’t a bad word but without a less me and more we attitude one person will become a shadow in the life of the other person.

Anyway that was my initial reaction to this topic and the more I think about it why does it matter if two people are willing to work to be together where they are from when that relationship starts.


That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow

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Gamer Tag: invisible don

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