I spent some time the last few days reading, some of my old journals. I came across one of the entries which I had forgotten about. Well I don’t really remember everything I write. This one was about an apartment I had in college. We had gone up into the attic and found a book of old magazines which were largely in very poor condition but were from 1910 to 1919. There was nothing really terribly interesting in the magazines or at least I didn’t think there was I gave them away. However the was part of a journal in there. The journal was written by a young, women, and was from the same period as the magazines. The woman writing was worried about her brother who was over seas fighting in the War. She just referred to this as the war, which would have been World War I. Sitting there in an apartment which was probably this woman’s home where did she sit when she wrote these words, which window did she look out toward her brother and the European war. I wrote my thoughts about this person’s thoughts. I wondered then as I do now how many other journals, have similar expressions of worry and fear written on pages and never uttered aloud , always wearing the brave face for the crowds never showing fret or weakness or worry. Even today how many sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers write about family far from them in possible harms way. Words on a page the only anchor to keep them on course, keeping them from falling to their knees, or to just be the one place that fear can live and not consume you.
Many of the entries I have written and do write there were or are my thoughts in the moment and the processing of problems. Any single page out of context has a completely different meaning then the whole of several pages or even the reality of the life that is undocumented going on out side the confine of the pages of a journal. Mainly its’ not profound, nor awe inspiring or even very deep, it is just my little every day worries, celebrations, hopes, fear, success and missteps on a path to happiness and contentment.
That’s the rub though isn’t it, is the getting to that place and the bigger magic I suppose is knowing that when you are on your way is to smile because you are already there. Even if you fall, miss or even fail, there may be something gained that has made it all worth it.
In other news
Stunt boy is camping with some friends… I was not invited because the friend is the child of a friend of CPG.
Litter box thought …I need a storm door.
That’s all for now, other stuff tomorrow
Happy Birthday if it’s your birthday and a very merry un birthday if it isn’t your birthday
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Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.
Ciao,
Listening to: Tegan and Sara
Gamer Tag: invisible don
PO Box 4425 Roanoke VA 24015
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